Seniors To ere Saturday •'V •**. •• CAMPUS CRIER CENTRAL WASHINGTON COLLEGE OF EDUCATION .VoL -No. 14 Z 797 ELLENSBURG, WASHINGTON, THURSDAY, MAY 2, 1940 No. 23 Political Chaos by ROBERG FOURTH GRADERS BUSY IN WORK ALCOVE WAR SIDELIGHTS Despite the fact that Germany has been at war with Great Britain for more than seven months, the German Shakespeare Society held its annual meeting as usual this week. Shake­ spearean plays continue popular in German theaters. Explained one so­ ciety member: "Britain stands not only to lose the war, but Shakespeare to boot." When the German Army marched into butterfat Denmark, Berlin an­ nounced, it carried many tons of but­ ter with it. German troops, the high command explained, would not use Danish butter or supplies until a "proper trade agreement" had been concluded between it and the king­ dom it is "protecting." In the Vatican this story about showy Hermann Goering, No. 2 Nazi, was going the rounds. Supposedly dissatisfied with the results of For­ eign Minister von Ribbentrop's re- cunt talk with the Pope, Hitler sent Goering to Rome. A few days later he received the following telegram from Goering: "Have placed Holy See under German protection. All prelates in concentration camp. Pope has fled. Vatican in flames. Cardinal's robes suit me beautifully." * • * ^.Americans again have been warned, this time to leave Hungary while there still remains' means by which evacuation will'be possible. It seems there are only about 400 Americans in Hungary. These are citizens by adoption, who returned home after being naturalized here. • - Such an announcement is siignifi- - cant, for it can easily mean that someone, Nazi Germany, Soviet Rus­ sia or Italy may be planning to go : into the regional territory of Hun­ gary. * * * - • -rrr The United States has appointed a minister to Iceland, following the an­ nexation of , Denmark by the Reich and the action of Iceland in announc­ ing its independence from the Euro­ pean country and its king. Bertel E. Kuniholm h'as been named consul, being transferred from Zurich, Switzerland. He has been told to go to his new post and there open up a consulate at Reykjavik, the Iceland capital. , * * * * " : 'J - The Greater Reich has an extraordi nary scheme to get" control, of the lower Danube in order to speed Rus- V sian oil, Rumanian wheat and other supplies to itself. 7 It proposes the establishment of one big navigation company, into which nine of the largest Danubian corporations should go. Companies which control 75 per cent of the river shipping would be united in an organ­ ization.known as Oanubian Lloyds. This proposal naturally does not • recognize either the French or British (Continued on Page 4) „ All Departments Will Be Open To Welcome Seniors Saturday PROGRAM TO INCLUDE HIGH SCHOOL RELAY CARNIVAL ON THE COLLEGE FIELD MANDER OUTLINES NEW WORLD ORDER SCHOOL PICNIC TO BE AT ESCHBACH PARK Stating that new means of com­ munication and mechanized warfare had altered our present day problems and made them too big to be solved by nations acting independently just as the invention of the.printing press and gunpowder , at the close of the middle ages had made. feudalism in­ adequate and inefficient, Dr. Linden M. Mander discussed the possibilities of an international government as a way out of our present difficulties at an open fo^um Thursday evening, April 25,. in the College Elementary School Auditorium. Dr. Mander, pro­ fessor of Political Science at the Uni­ versity of Washington, said that the nations must "find some new political unit of society" to provide a "more effective form of government." Cooperation Needed •" Not only is cooperation among the national states needed to promote peace but to promote other things necessary to the welfare of man. "In­ ternational "relations," Dr. Mander said, "should function for the greatest welfare of the greatest number." In the prevention of disease and crime, and in -the Solution of such problems as nutrition, world markets, and in­ ternational trade, the modem state is no longer adequate. "An international government is the., least, machinery which makes possible the handling of Nationalism Cause of League ( / Breakdown these problems," he asserted. Nationalism was the cause, of the breakdown of the League of Nations,- one of the first attempts of world government, 'Dr. Mander declared. To­ day's technical problems demand the intellect of all. Whether it will be a fascist government such as Germany has under Hitler,"or communistic as in Stalin's Russia, or a democratic federation of states as advocated by Striet in his book Union Now remains (Continued on Page 4) The annual school picnic will be held at Eschbach Park, Tuesday, May 14. Seven trucks will be loaded with students and leave at 8:15 in the morning. They will start back around 7:45 in the evening. Two free meals will be furnished by the student body, Oral Baker has an­ nounced. Games are being organized for the picnic. There will be a tug of war between students and faculty men— with the losers going in the river, maybe. The I. K.'s have challenged the W Club to a game of softball also. In the evening there will be danc­ ing with music by Manzo's orchestra. KAMOLA HALL ELECTS 1940-41 OFFICERS The highlight of events in Kamola Hall last week was the election of of­ ficers "Monday night. The acting council presented one of the widest selections of nominees that have been selected for several years,. choosing candidates from all parts of the dor­ mitory. Kamola Hall has announced the fol­ lowing as the. officers for 1940-41: President, Dorothea Heath vice presi­ dent, Elaine Brisbin treasurer, Bar­ bara Fisher secretary,- Alice C. Woods social commissioner, a tie be­ tween Hazel Miller. and Patricia Price. KREIDEL WINS POSTER CONTEST MORE STUDENTS GET JOBS THIS WEEK Five more students, Dr. Samuelson reports, have recently received posi­ tions makinig a total of 23. These five are: Glenn Hartman, 7th grade, Out­ look Ellen Wickersham, jr. primary, Newport v Dorothea Nicholls, second grade, 'Lake Burien Kathleen JCel- leher, fourth grade, Port Townsend Barbara Quigley, second or kinder­ garten, Woodland. Out of the four students of Mr. Randall's' commercial art class who entered posters in the poster contest for Arboretum Primrose'Day, held in Seattle, two placed. Miss Pauline Kreidel achieved the first awatd. and $15, while Miss Eda Esperson placed fourth in the judging, and was first honorable mention. Second and third places were won by Seattle contest­ ants. _ ^ Posters Displayed ' In the Seattle display of prize win­ ning and honorable mention designs, Miss Kreidel's was placed in the win­ dow of the Bon Marche, Miss Esper- son's in the window of Littler's. Both Miss Kreidel and Miss Esper­ son have won many college poster^ con­ tests. To be displayed in the Admin­ istration. Building Hall are reproduc­ tions of the posters of both girls. Par­ enthetically, Miss Kreidel has design­ ed the cover of the Summer Session Bulletin of the college. Bo,pth and Randall Enter Other C. W. C. E. entrants in the poster contest were Miss Betty Booth and Mr. George Randall. ' Sponsored by the Washington State Arboretum, the contest was judged by Mr. Richard Fuller, director of the Seattle Art Museum, Mrs._ Alexander Fraser McEwan, of the- Washington State Conservation Society, Mr. Wal­ ter Isaacs, head of the Art Depart­ ment of the U. of W., Miss Clara Reynolds, city supervisor of the Se­ attle schools, and Mrs. Frederick Han­ sen, of the 'Seattle Florists Associa­ tion. Eligible for competition in the contest were all • pupils enrolled in Washington colleges, universities, high schoos, and private schools of equal standing. The drawings were in color, suitable, for reproduction, on 14 by 18 inches, White drawing board. On iSaturday, May 4, C. W. C. .E. will play host to more than 250.seniors from high schools in Central Washington. The Senior Day will be held in conjunction with the Relay Carnival sponsored by the Ellensburg High * School. The Relay Carnival will be lun off on the College Field at 1:00 o'clock Saturday. The guests on Senior Day will, reg­ ister in the morning. After that the ^departments of the school will be open. The seniors will be able - to look over all the buildings and ask the professors for. advice on anything the professors might be able to give them advice on. There will be open house at the dorms between 11 and 1? o'clock in the morning. After a picnic lunch in the City Park the Relay Carnival will be run off. At 4 o'clock there will Tie a matinee dance in the gym, for seniors. The final event" of the day's pro­ gram will be a dinner held in the din­ ing hall from 6:30 o'clock to 7:45. Miss Frances Rozensweig will wel­ come the seniors as president of the Women's League. In the absence of his betters, Mr. Parker and Mr. Brei- thaupt who are both en tour, George. Kneeland will speak for the student body. The program for the day is as fol­ lows: 8:00-10:00—Registration. 10-12—Tour of campus. Counsel- in. with staff members. 11-12—Open house at dorms. 12-1—Picnic lunch in City Park. l-:4—Relay carnival at College Field. : - • ' . 4-6—Matinee senior dance, gym. 6:30-7-45—Dinner in dining hall. The student lounge will be open in .the afternoon on Saturday. POSTERS OF MANY NATIONS SHOWN National Prize Winners Shown Reproduced For all of next week will be, in room A-300, an Art Department exhibit of poster reproductions from many na­ tions of Europe. These posters are the result of a personal collection which Mr. Randall has been making for about eight ' years. The most amusing of the posters is by a Polish artist, /Trier in this poster, which ballyhoos a magazine, a gentleman in the barber chair is reading the magazine, while the barber, engrossed over his patron's shoulder in the same magazine, is on the verge of scissor­ ing off the patron's ear. Variety of Styles Conspicuous in the exhibit is its variety of styles. Many of thes.e pos­ ters have won national and interna­ tional poster contests. A similar col­ lection was shown at the Modern Museum of Art, in New York. Valua­ ble to teachers is a'familiarity with such illustrative material in the so­ cial studies, expressing as they do the national spirits of many countries, such as Norway, Denmark". Sweden, Germany, France, England, and the "Fourteen Men Enrolled This Session All Time High"—1917 ' "It "has been brought to the attention* wrong. The campus also held the * *M T • N IL 1 «1 J CAIAM/IA KLLLL/1. of the Crier staff that all good rural weeklies have some space devoted to items from the old files of the news­ paper. Not wishing to be behind or below the standards of its kind such a column is being run in the Crier be­ ginning with this issue. Incidentally this is the column. If you enjoy it, fine. If you don't you cap let . us know and we may not run it, if there is some other filler available. Fourteen Men There are rumors of publications of this institutions which ran banner heads reading "14 Men 'Enrolled This Session All Time High." The edi­ torial writer could see big things in store for the school in the way of .a football team and social functions, Unfortunately nothing this exciting is available. The • files in the library contains papers back only as far as i925-26. At that time the paper was titled Student Opinion. In 1925 Student Opinion was com­ ing along merrily. It doesn't sound unlike the Crier. The new library was completed • that year. Formerly the library had been housed in -the .Ad Building in the rooms now given to the bookstore-, and the. postoffice. Maybe it used the student lounge too, Trot since I was a member of the kin­ dergarten when I saw it I may be Edison School, the old Science Build ing, torn down a few years ago to make 'way for the Auditorium and Kamola. The men, whose number had reached a few. more than 14, lived in. Eswin Hall which is. now a. part of the housing project of C. W. C. E. and is known as the College Apartments. Before Dad Straight The Brite Spot or one half the pres­ ent Brite Spot was on the half of the block now occupied by Sue. It was known as the Home Grocery and owned by Mrs. Ganty since this was even before Dad Straight's entrance into the cultural hig of the Washing­ ton State NormalNBchool, which an editorial at that time tells, us is the best institution of higher learning in the state.. We decided the writer's modesty alone compelled her to leave out all the other colleges of the Northwest. Beck Was New The new teachers that year in­ cluded Mr. Beck, who was given a big hand as a pretty snappy organ­ izer of music organizations. There s something about that field I think. •Musicians are SO businesslike. Miss Bloomer joined the training school staff. Mr. Quigley was added to the Science Department along with the (Continued on Page 4), GORIN SINGS AT LASTCONCERT Igor Gorin, baritone, sang to i large and" enthusiastic audience Mon day night in the College Auditorium. This was the last program of the sea­ son presented by the Ellensburg Com­ munity Concert Association. Mr. Gorin's program won great ap­ plause from the crowd throughout. His fine voice combined with an un usual personality and stage presence assured his good reception. His program was'well-balanced, in eluding such numbers as the "Largo ai Factotum" from the "Barber of Se­ ville," Polish folk songs, Italian,, and French songs. ' Mr. -Gorin was supported at the piano by Adolf Bailer who played two solos: Nocturne B Flat Minor of Cho­ pin and .'"Paraphrase of Strauss Waltzes" by Grunfeld. former nations spoken of as Czecho­ slovakia, Poland and Austria. A few American posters are also on exhibit. Most of the posters—and the best of them—are foreign. Artists of All Nations f Represented among the artists are Austin Cooper, A..M.'Cassandre, Jean Cadlu, Phil Von Phul, Professor Kir- nig, Herve Bailie, E. McRnight Kauf- fer, Ben Blessum (a Norwegian), and the Einnish artist, Semeri. Among-the posters is the prize winning World's Fair poster, by Joseph Bender. The collection of posters is~ impres sive. Many of the reproductions are quite large. The Art Department is to be congratulated for showing them and Mr. Randall for having collected them. - . - NOTICE There will be a meeting of W. E. A representatives with Juniors and iSteii-_ iors on professional relations, in the College Elementary School Auditor­ ium, Wednesday, May 8, at 4 p. m. LAST THEATER PARTY TO BE "REBECCA" The last Theater Party will be held on -May 20, it was announced today. The show chosen is "Rebecca," a.Selz- nick production. A. S. B. tickets will admit all stu­ dents to the show. HEBELER TALKS ON KINDERGARTEN - "Is the Kindergarten Important" was the topic of a speech made last Friday, April 26, by Miss Amanda Hebeler in Tacoma. Miss Hebeler was speaking before the state convention of :.the American, Association of Uni­ versity Women. . ^ • The meeting was attended by wo- ' men working in institutions of higher education. PARKER LEAVES Omar Parker A. S. B. president, left Monday night for 'Salt Lake City and the Conference of Student Body Presidents of Western States. Parker will stay for a week or more studying student administration in college, and probably other things as well. In case Omar fails to return-, inside ox two weeks a searching party will be sent out from the Millionaires' Club. NEWMAN TO PLAY FOR MAY PROM The May Prom, traditional formal given by the Off-Campus, Club in May has been planned for next Sat­ urday evening, May 4. This dance is, as always, a tolo. Programs may be obtained today and tomorrow at the post office and Saturday night at the dance. The price is 75 cents. Art Newman's Orchestra, which is popular at C. W. C. E., has been en­ gaged to provide the music. The student pavilion will be decorated as a May garden with a tall May pole in the center, its pastel streamers forming the ceiling. ' Flowers will be used also as a part of the decora­ tions. The reception line will form at 9:15. Patrons _and patronesses will be Mr. and JMrs. Victor Bouillon, 'Dr. and Mrs. R. H. McConnell, Mr. and Mrs. 0. H. Holmes, Mr. and Mrs: Oliver Nelson, Dr. and Mrs. Newschwander, Mr. and Mrs. Reino Randall, Dr. Hu­ bert Coffey, Miss Fanchon Yeager, Miss Rosamond Wentworth and Mips Kathleen Kelleher. The dance is be­ ing planned under, the direction of Miss Kelleher, president, of the Off- Campus Club. Mother's Day Evening Program To Be Open To All Students The members of the Women's* the awarding of two recognition NOTICE All women students are urgently requested to attend the assembly to­ day."At 10:45 the Associated Women Students will discuss plans for the coming Mother's Day celebration. League Council have been very busy making plans for the Mother's Day festivities which occur on this campus the weekend of May 11th and 12th.v One of the things that the girls want particularly to stress to the student body as a whole, is that the evening program, beginning at' 8:30, in the auditorium will be open to every stu­ dent and faculty member on the cam­ pus and to townspeople as well. Variety in Evening Program This .year the evening program is to c.ombine a variety of numbers taken .Irom some- of the departments of the school. There will' be a part of the program devoted to the dance drama,..and part to the choir and or­ chestra. The Drama Department is furnishing a number and there will be some, individual solo work. The pro­ gram promises to be diversified and enjoyable and it is the-hope of the Council of the Women's League that all students avail themselves of the opportunity to h^ar it. Tea on Saturday The activities for the weekend will include a tea Saturday afffernoon, a banquet in the evening, initiation of new officers and the evening pro­ gram. It is 'the evening program which is open to the general public. One feature of the banquet will be prizes for the off-campus girl who has been most active on the campus, as well as being almost wholly self-sup­ porting and for the dormitory girl jtvho hais made her place on the cam­ pus, in addition to "carrying on activi­ ties. Another feature of this year's banquet will be the announcement of the names of the girls .who will be elected to serve in next year's Soph­ omore Service group. This group was begun last fall and the names of those chosen were announced at the Home Coming festivities last November. Fi'om now on, the announcement of" the Sophomore Service group will be made on Mother's Day. Mothers' Weekend-a Tradition "For several years now the Mother's Day weekend has been a definite fea­ ture on the school calendar and all of the girls on the campus look forward to having their mothers visit the cam-- pus, meet the faculty members, see the new buildings, and get acquainted with at least a little cross-section of their school life. The Women's League has appreciated the splendid support and cooperation that everybody on the campus has always shown, and they hope that this year the mothers will again enjoy the friendliness and hos­ pitality of the Central Washington College of Education. v v. ' •'•-..X/:: - THE CAMPUS CRIER CAMPUS CRIER PUBLISHED WEEKLY BY THE ASS0CL4.TED STUDENTS of the CENTRAL WASHINGTON COLLEGE OF EDUCATION Entered as second class matter at the post office at tiiensi-'jrs Telephone Advertising and News to M:i:n S i Alumni, Th»'ce Quarters, Sl-Ou Washhi^Loit - Member" fessockrted Gollefiiate Press Distributor of Cblie6iateDi6est RCPRCSENTCO FOR NATIONAL ADVERTISING BY National Advertising Service, Inc. ColUgePmblisber* Representative _ 420 MADISON AVE. NEW YORK. N.Y. CHICAGO • BOSTOH • LOS AH6CUS • SAM FMA* CISCO 'EDITOR - ---• - GEORGE KNEELAND BUSINESS MANAGER - ' NICK DIERINGER SPORTS EDITOR - MATT TOMAC MUSIC EDITOR - - LOREN TROXEL EXCHANGE EDITOR KEITH MONTGOMERY REPORTERS AND FEATURE WRITERS ANNE BRUKETTA, JANE MYERS, EL19A GRIFFITH, WAYNE ROBERG, KEITH MONTGOMERY, EDDON LINDSAY, JO SABLOCKI, VIRGINIA BECK, CAROL LIPPINCOTT, ARLENE HAGSTROM, LOIS ERICKSON, ALBANY RUBSTELLO, LOUISE PERRAULT, ALENE RASMUSSE'N ROBERT KOCHER, MARIE RUMFORD, JE'AN LEMIEUX GRAPEVINE Frances Vause practicing dance routines on the lawn in front of the auditorium. And with an audience. Harold Mitchell likes Patty's new \at. It's blue and amazing and nice. Don't look now, but Mary Shaw has more than one reason for wanting the May Prom on a Satui-day night. * * # On a scrap of paper left in a class­ room, we found: Tempus fugit Razz-matazz Time isn't flying. And never has (In this class.) Miss Lent felt very badly about losing those test papers. Can't say as much for the class. Note to Mr. Courson: But, it was the popsicle! * * • Kay Sperry enjoyed the Folk Danc­ ing test: It's said we always like things we do well. Faculty Comments On Russell Case • This week the Crier interviewed over half the teachers on the faculty here in an attempt to find their reactions to the Bertrand Russell case in New York. Some teach­ ers were not interested in the case and therefore made no comments while others wished to Jiave more time to con­ sider the case. The statements of those who were ready and willing to make them are printed below. SARAH SPURGEON, ART DEPARTMENT "I doubt that an undergraduate institution is a desir­ able place for a person with limited views on controversial moral questions." GRAHAM DRESSLER, ENGLISH DEPARTMENT "I think it is a petty squabble and indicates a gap which shouldn't exist between the general public and the aca­ demic world." HAROLD BARTO, HISTORY DEPARTMENT "In my opinion, if the relations between Mr. Russell and City College are as cordial as professed, this case re­ solves itself into one of purely legal proportions. It is self-evident that a Supreme Court judge would have many items in his favor, over me at least, in the matter of defining the legal premises for his action." HUBERT COFFEY, EDUCATION DEPARTMENT "The Russell incident, along with the Counts incident in Seattle, demonstrates the folly of being complacent about democracy. The achievement of democracy is a constant struggle and every enlightened mind should fol­ low the example of John Dewey in fighting inroads on democratic integrity. In this case, as in others, the strug­ gle is against entrenched institutions fully capable of Blitzkrieg. If education has any stakes in democracy, then to be effective, it should pass beyond the stage of platform utterance, and in the interests of democratic fellowship, the W. E. A. might appropriately join other organizations, such as the American Civil Liberties Union, in condemning the whole procedure." VERNON CARSTENSEN, HISTORY DEPARTMENT "At best the dismissal of Mr. Russell is merely the re­ sult of rather silly fear expressed by a bishop at worst the judicial decision against Russell, if it is allowed to stand unchallenged, is a threat against the intellectual freedom of every teacher and student in the nation. If the precedent is allowed .to stand, it would mean that judges, until now mostly concerned with points of law, would set themselves up as judges of ethics. Russell was ordered dismissed because, according to the judge, free­ dom to teach involves only freedom to teach 'good,' and the judge feels competent to determine what is'good' and what is 'evil.' Russell, he was sure, would teach 'em 'evil.' Such power in the hands of even American judges repre­ sents the most serious potential threat to free inquiry and free thought in education today." — WILLIS NEALLEY, SOCIAL SCIENCE jWhile I might not agree with a professor's personal' theories I think that there, is no reason why hi^ ideas in other subjects should conflict with those of the subjects he is teaching. That is—a teacher's opinions about some controversial questions do not make him unfit to teach Other subjects adequately." A. J. MATHEWS, LANGUAGE & LITERATURE DEPT. "If Bertrand Russell were a secondary school man, his affair with the church, the government, and the, home might be excusable on the grounds of retributive justice, since these institutions might then be understood as strik­ ing back at the school for its usurpation of their duties and rights. But Russell:is in 'higher education,' and this interference with his teaching is pure meddling. The meddlers obviously don't know what teaching is or what connection it has with morality (even what morality it­ self is?). . I do not agree with many who put all the blame on the Catholic Church, which in my mind is no m'ore responsible than other militant organizations -whose militancy is a sign of the times:, the Dies Committee and whatever 'or­ ganization' it was'that lately denied Dr. Counts the right to speak on the University of Washington campus. Such things are happening frequently now. They simply show that the 'European' war has reached us already and is working its evil on us." John Chalmers and company again in competition with' Lounsberry Here's to a future as a Fuller brush FIRESIDE CHATS . . . WITH SNOOP AND SCOOP (Any similarity between persons mentioned end persons living or just passing out is purely coincidental.) •9 * * S. Th? Child Psychology class com- "!a n!n~ because Goffev keeps them awake. Nick Dieringer cutting up as usual really put his finger in it. If you'r curious, notice Edwards' new win­ dow. « * s Attention, Grapevine! Call off your bloodhounds. "Snoop Holmes' and "Scoop Wat'son" have solved your mystery. If you want to see Ethel Mae Cochrane light up, just mention Commodore. ** * # Bob Carr keeping one eye on Betty Bowman and the other on the bus schedule. - man. * Martha Kindall had-company again. Other girls are also-doing well in this spring weather." Noticeably Edna Ningler. Imagine who we saw studying in the Library—or so (industriously— Anne Braketta. •• Ray Bucsko'went through^ the Ad Building calling "Irma." And was she embarrassed! " - , John Ireland whizzed up from Ya­ kima last Sunday. And we mean w h i z z e d . " V : - ' v V - . Muriel Hansen getis mail that brings a big smile. Lucky person! 5 * * : IT"':.'::., Peter Zook and Elsa are a pair "that are still *that way. •••••• • * »- Matt Tomac "ducking" through this rain. Get it? Is Mr. Mathews' mustache a dare from Carsty or just a bit of old world atmosphere? * * * Marguerite Custer's eyes are spark­ ling more than usual. Maybe it's reflection of what she's wearing1 on her left hand. * * * ^ Having-one arm in a sling certainly isnt' hampering Buscoe's style when it comes to Irma Klampfer. i. ' : & & - •• If Joe Lassoie wants to make, this column, why doesn't he patronize some of our co-eds ? • MOSTLY ABOUT NOTHING... I almost met Igor Gorin last night. But my pride wouldn't let me. I de­ cided I had made a big enough con­ cession to.my snobbishness by going to hear him. There was no use over-! doing it by walking backstage and shaking his hand. After all, there is only one reason for wanting to meet Gorin in the manner I would have met him Mon­ day night, and that is so I could say, ''I've met Igor Gorin." That's a snobbish objective, but it wouldn't have had any real snob value cwen. Because if I said it around here everybody would understand the circumstances. And if I waited till I got home to say it nobody would know who Igor Gorin was anyhow. The last celebrity I met was Dr, Kilpatrick, only I'm not talking about it. It's my opinion that if you want to keep your reverence for a man it is. better to read his biography than to shake his hand. HOLLYWOOD CLEANERS Main 125 109 W. 5th NEXT TO ELKS TEMPLE Scene in a certain gal's apt. Time is 11 p. m. Bernard Siefner has ac­ companied a pal to visit this cuty. As the curtain parts, a knock is heard J at the front door. 'It's her boy friend on leave from Uncle Sam's Navy. Siefner and his pal dash-for the back door. The back door opens and in comes the Navy . . . swinging. Taken by surprise, Siefner quickly rallies, polishes the Navy off and pitches him downstairs. The curtain falls on Sief­ ner in stage center, ruefully contem­ plating a pair of bruised knuckles. (True story slielp me!) Received a most interesting note from an anonymous reader of ye col­ umn. The reader fully agreed with this critic about certain phases of Kampus politics (Somebody does, anyway.) Sorry I can't print anony­ mous letters for this one was very well written and deserved printing. I will igladly print all signed letters to ye column (Box 146). Got the real low-down on Lyle "Brainwave" Mercer but can't print ifc, darn the luck. It's really a choice item but the circumstances are such etc. You might ask him for the dope and see what he says. Practice up on your footwork first though. Professor Mander had the difficult art of talking a lot and saying very little, dewn pat when he spoke here last week. An interesting speaker, he neatly sidestepped any and all com­ mitments, said nothing concrete what soever, and yet managed to put him­ self across. I do not mean to dis­ parage his ability ... he obviously just didn't intend to make any state­ ments which might "boomerang later. That old phrase "Overheard at Ed­ wards" is no more. It will linger like many other memories, vague but not forgotten. The sight of kindly Mrs. Edwards moving amidst her gleaming glassware, stopping to inquire solicit ously of a student's health, giving a poorer student an extra helping, will never completely fade away.- "Over­ heard at Edwards" becomes "Over­ heard at Hickeys" now, and we trust the new phrase upholds the prestige of the old. By KEITH MONTGOMERY In a social science examination, a University of Omaha student was ask­ ed to list Hitler's personal assistants1. Among several other names, the stu­ dent put down Mein Kampf. * * * While moving a nickelodeon, two Dartmouth student workers jarred the mechanism of the machine and of its own accord, it began to play. Amazed, workers, students, and a few dazed freshmen stood around the ma­ chine and watched it play for three hours continuously. In the end, a dis­ tributing firm was called in to repair it, and they attached the ironic note to it: "Out of order." • » * ' A ruling by authorities at Beloit College recently required all column­ ists on the school newspaper to sigh their names to all stories. * * * She's not real pretty ? Like a. movie star, But I like the girl- She's got a car. —Colleigian. * * * Last weekend the first annual in­ tercollegiate bridge championships were held in New York City. Teams from twelve eastern colleges entered to compete for a permanent trophy that was established by a sponsoring committee. The teams, which were made up of two persons each, spent the weekend in New York with all ex­ penses paid. Some local talent (?) from Sue Lombard brings us this poem: Classes I've cut And sadly regretted When grades came home Minus a credit. * * * Richard A. Grest, a Northwestern University student, was arrested for speeding, and forbidden^to drive for 30 days. Grest " took to traveling afoot, and 20 days later was fined $5 for jaywalking. • * * If you have the habit of reading the Crier in your classes, you will ap­ preciate the plight of a Dartmouth College junior, who sat in the last row of one of his lecture courses and was reading a story on page one, con­ tinued on page eight. He couldn't lift the paper to turn the page and didn't have enough room if he kept it down out of sight. After five minutes of trying to turn the paiges slowly so they wouldn't crackle, he was about ready to give up in disgust. Then the man"in front of him turned around and handed him a paper already turned to" the page. The man, who had already read the story, said, "Thought you might be having trou­ ble I had a bit myself." BUTTER BUTTER BUILDS BETTER BODIES Kittitas County Dairymen's Assn. HOUGHTON'S Shoe Re-New INVISIBLE HALF SOLES PHONE RED 4021 209 W. Fourth St. Elleiubarz Do You Know A Telephone GIVES PROTECTION SAVES STEPS IS CONVENIENT & IS INEXPENSIVE ELLENSBURG COMPANY MAIN 200 24-Hour Film Service 8 PRINTS AND 1 ENLARGEMENT 25c Ostrander Drug Co. GILMOtJR & GILMOUR FANCY GROCEKIES Quality and Prompt Service 308 N. Pearl St. Main 203 & 104 NEW YORK CAFE f BEST FOOD IN TOWN I THE LAUNDRY OF PURE MATERIALS Yon Need Never Hesitate to Send Your Most Delicate Fabrics to THE K. E. LAUNDRY MAIN 40 CASCADE MARKET Wholesale and Retail Meats H. A. Meerdink, Prop. 113 EAST FOURTH STREET Berkshire Hosiery MUNDY'S FAMILY SHOE STORE FOR THE BEST CARMICHAEL Ice Cream MAID-O'-CLOVER DAIRY PRODUCTS Milk Products Co. EDWARD'S FOUNTAIN LUNCH Home Made Pus and Lunches Milk Shakes 10c ACROSS FROM LIBRARY Fitterer Brothers FURNITURE Sigman's Grocery FOURTH & PINE GROCERIES MEATS AND PRODUCE Carter Transfer Co. General Transfer and Fuel MAIN 91 WEBSTER'S - Quality Foods Lunches - Dinners Confections The Store of Friendly Service | Fourth and Pine Main 531 SPORT EQUIPMENT Ellensburg Hardware Company » —_ Is o •& O & « o & o 3 0 a # QUALITY GRADE A MILK EARL E. ANDERSON I KODAKS I AND ALL KODAK SUPPLIES I j DEVELOPING and PRINTING I I Bostic's Drug Store | | FREE DELIVERY MAIN 73 I Complete Automotive Service Genuine Parts Body and Fender Repairs FIFTH & MAIN ST. PHONE MAIN 6 aw.C.E 7 a P. s o S P O R T S U. of W. Fresh c. w. a e. 74 57 Netters Defeat Invaders Easily lLAtfK C. P. S. BLUGARD OF SEATTLE COLLEGE DEFEATS CLINT KNOX k?st Friday afternoon, the Central Washington College tennis team trounced the Seattle College netsters 6-1 and rang up their fourth victory of the season. The squad has been beaten only once this year, when they dropped a 4-1 decision to the Univer­ sity of Washington Frosh. TENNIS TEAM LEAVES FOR EASTERN WASH. Completing the arrangements to move up one match and schedule an­ other, Coach Nicholson's squad has launched a four game road trip last O r - — — _ 7 ~ W V Tuesday against Gonzaga University win the match in three sets, 6-1, 5-7, afc Spokane. A match with the Wash­ ington State College Freshmen is set for Wednesday, and the Wildcats will play Idaho varsity Thursday and Eastern Washington Friday. The Gonzaga match was set for Saturday, but arrangements have been made to set the game for Tuesday to enable the team to return her for the Senior Day program the college is sponsor­ ing in connection with the Central Washington Relays. ./X* NOW ENDS FRIDAY "VIGIL IN THE NIGHT" Carol Lombard Briane Aherne Aline Shirley _ MUSICAL — CARTOON . NEWS SATURDAY ----- ONLY —TRIPLE TREAT— I "KING, OF THE LUMBERJACKS iff PAYNE u HONEYMOON DEFERRED EDMOND LOWE 3. 197 SUNDAY, MON., TUES. of New York's Swtnottme Street — (to YOUNG ALSO MICKEY MOUSE In Friday's competition, the visitors only got one match—the number one singles between Clint Knox and Paul Blugard. Knox was a little over anx­ ious and Blugard, who is a ranking coast player, played beautifully to 6-2. The Cats took the other four sin­ gles matches and also swept the dou­ bles competition. In the doubles, Clint Knox got revenge for his previous de­ feat and, paired with his brother Clyde, beat Blugard and,Bud Bator, No. 2 man on the Steattle College team, 7-5, 2-6, 6-1. Frank Crimp had already beat Bator in the singles matches in straight sets and he' paired with Ray Whitfield to beat Dick Ross and Frank Ryan of the visitors in the other doubles match. • On Saturday the Wildcats scored their third shutout of the season 'when they defeated the College of Puget Sound 7-0 in a match in which only two matches went three sets. - Altering his usual doubles combi­ nations, Coach Nicholson teamed Clint Knox and (Frank Krimp as one of his combinations and Whitfield- Breedlove as the other. Knox-Crimp team had to play three sets before they were able to down the invaders. On Saturday morning the Cats de­ feated Yakima J. C. 5-2. The scores: Friday, against Seattle College: Singles—-Blugard (S) defeated Clint Knox (E) 6-1, 5-7, 6-2 Clyde Knox (E) defeated Dick Ross (S), 6-0, &-0 Ray Whitfield (E) defeated Frank Ryan (S) 6-1, 6-0 Frank Crimp (E) defeated Bud Bator (S) 6-2, 6-3 Ray Breedlove (E) defeated Frank Buty (S) 6-1, 6-3. Doubles — Knox-Knox (E) won from Blugard-Bator OS) 7-5,-2-6, 6-1, Crimp-Whitfield (E) won from Ross- Ryan (S) 6-1, 6-2. Saturday against C. P. S.— Singles: Clint Knox (E) defeated Hite (CPS) 6-1, 6-2 Clyde Knox (E) defeated Paulson (CPS) 6-3, 3-6, 6-1 Ray Whitfield (E defeated Walker (CPS) 6-0, 6-1 Frank Crimp (E) de­ feated Hine (CPS) 6-1, 6-4 Ray Breedlove (S) defeated Champ (CPS) C-2, 6-2. Doubles — Clint Knox-Crimp (E) won from Hite-Paulsen (CPS) 6-8, C-3, 6-2 Breedlove-Whitfield (E) de­ feated Walker-Champ (CPS)" 6-2, 6-3. SPORTS By MATT TOMAC It is goodbye to Coach Joe Paglia of St. Martin's College at Lacey. After five years as athletic director, Joe has notified the college officials that he will not ask renewal of his contract. However, he has offered his services to the college as part time coach, but the college considered that such an arrangement would not be desirable. Those who know Joe will readily admit that this league has lost one of the most colorful and most popular coaches. Joe's good sportsmanship and friendliness has made an impression all over this conference. When we say, "we are sorry to see him leave, and wish him the best of luck," we know that we are speaking the minds of many fans, athletes, and coaches. A good way to pass away the time is trying to pick the winner of Cheney-Wildcat meet Compiling the best per­ formances made by both teams, we will attempt to. give you an idea of the outcome of the meet. Event Sav. Cats Event . Sav. Wildcats Bow To U. of W. FRESHMEN UNLEASH UNEXPECTED RUNNING POWER FORD TURNS IN GOOD TWO MILE FOOTBALL SCHEDULE Running up against the unexpected strength of the University of Wash­ ington Freshmen, the Wildcats bowed before the Frosh 73 2-3 to 57 l?3,in Seattle last Wednesday. The Cats salvaged only two firsts h/ the .track * events. Jack Orchard and Tommy Bridges finished one-two in the 4A&. Orchard sped around the slow oyaj^in 51.6. The other first was turned in by veteran Pat Martin in the 120- yard high hurdles. Martin broke the tape*about four yards ahead of .Ma­ gers, former Ellensburg High School star. Martin and Magers hookedi:.up . in the low hurdle duel. They, came oyer the last hurdle even, but Martin came town off balance and fell baekwl^ile Garretson, another frosh, outsprinted Magers to the finish. ..... In the two mile Haytev of Erosh just nosed out Wendall SPord andiWas JLow Hurdles Discus Shot Javelin Pole Vault High Jump. ....... Broad Jump Total : 5 t 6 4 $ i t 4 1 3 5 1 -8f 6 68 67 SERVICE WHILE YOU WAIT STAR SHOE SHOP Newly Remodeled" 416 NORTH PINE ST. Arras Frcm the Stage Depot UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT Formerly Edwards' Fountain Lunch, NOW COLLEGE FOUNTAIN LUNCH KEEP YOUR HANDS On Your Pocketbook ! WILLIE THE WEASEL is at The Brite Spot 100-yd. Dash 5 4 220-yd. Dash 5 4 440-yd. Run 1 8 880-yd. Run 5 4 Mile 3 6 2-Mile .....4 5 High Hurdles ...... 5 4 Relay 5 0 It seems like there are some very enthusiastic baseball- ers on this campus. After reading our article on baseball possibilities here, one person inquired if the council would appropriate money to help the boys organize their own team. If the council did, appropriate to such a cause, there would be many other activities (not under jurisdiction of the school) demanding such help. The council cannot ap­ propriate any money to baseball, and won't be able to until it becomes a varsity sport. Up at Bellingham A1 Biggs, retired sports editor, is running a preview of conference meet on the instalment plan. With four events, the 100, the 220, the 440, and the discus already finished, the score is E. W. C. 18, C. W. C. 15, W. W. C. 6, P. L. C. 5 and St. Martin's 0. Nice going Biggs, that's a pretty fair job of calculating, and we are inclined to agree with you. SPORT BITS: P. L. C. has a man on its track squad, who threw the discus 120 feet in his first attempt—why don't they use him, with little practice he shouldn't have any trouble winning in this conference .. . Grover Klemmer, Univer­ sity of California Frosh, ran the 440 in 47 flat... Another Stanford man breaks a record—Paul Moore broke tlie % mile record in 2:58.7 the old record was 3:00.6 . . . They call it a baseball score—Wapato 25, Ellensburg Eagles 23 ... The motion picture industry is paying tribute to Knute Rockne. Now in the making is~a picture called "Life of Knute Rockne." Jim Thorpe, always admired by Rockne,. will play a small part in the picture ... George Zigenfuss, former University of Washington basketball star, is the nearly appointed basketball and tennis coach at Bain- bridge ... Glen Cunningham is now a member of Cornell faculty—he will handle the P. E. department... Marston Fitzsimmons, Pomeroy High School star, ran a mile in 4:24... P. L. C. and St. Martin's seem to be on very neigh­ borly basis—they both came here on St. Martin's bus ... There are rumors that Seattle will release Coscaret and Harris... Who's going to stop the Dodgers?—Tex Charl- eton is a pretty fair "has been," he pitched a no-hit,* no- run game against the Reds ... Pat Haley, sensational W. S. C. Frosh, scored two victories over Cheney's Carpine .. Uncle Webber of Bellingham broad jumps over 22 feet . . . Looks like Dahl of Bellingham will run again—good news for Bellingham, but poison to the opponents. Having a tough time to schedule games for this fall, Coach Nicholson has released the following games with Gonzaga Frosh, St. Martin's, Cheney, Bellingham, and P. L. C. Attempts have been made to sched­ ule games with Lewiston and Oregon Normals. The game with Oregon Normal is still in the making while there is no hope for a game with Lewiston. However, there is no need to worry because by the time fall rolls, around, Coach Nicholson will undoubtedly find some suitable op­ ponents. . . ' The schedule: ISept. 27— Gonzaga Frosh here (night game). . Oct. 9—St. Martin's (here). Oct. 12—^Cheney (there). Nov. 2—Bellingham (here) (Home­ coming). Nov. 19—P. L. C. (there). TRACKSTERS INVADE CHENEY STRONGHOLD Embarking on their first major trip of this season. Coach George Mabee and 16 cindermen have departed for Cheney today where they will meet the highly-touted Savages in a con­ test Friday afternoon. The traveling squad^ includes, sprints—Jones, Creed, Orchard, Brid­ ges and. Yocom distances^—Wilson, Yocom, Bach, Sullivan, Colwell, and Ford hurdles — Martin and Love field events—Martin, Mirosh, .Sulli­ van, Creed, Breithaupt, Ottelin and Broughton. Facing the Wildcats will be a pow­ erful Cheney machine in which Car- pine and Chissus are the big guns. Carpine, the sprint ace, has turned in exceptionally good times this year. Kis greatest feat was beating Mon­ tana's Emigh. Chissus, the holder of two conference hurdle records, has been winning regularly. His best ef­ fort was in high hurdles against the W. S- C. Frosh where he won the event in 15.8, In the pole vault Ferrier and Erik- son are expected to take one-two, as both have cleared 12 feet this year. Bert Tchn, Zier and Brown are the big guns in the distance races. All three are defending conference cham­ pions. The Savaiges are also powerful in the weights. Up to dater Hipskind and Noble have thrown the platter 132 and 128 feet respectively, which is about 10 feet better than Ottelin's ef­ forts. Hipskind and Noble also throw the javelin and the shot. Noble has a 165 foot javeline ihrow to his credit, while Hipskind has heaved the shot over 40 feet. The mile relay promises to be one of the highlights of the meet. The Cheney realy team which won the conference championships is intact, while the Wildcat team has turned in the best try up to date. Another feature of'the meet will be the Jones-Carpine feud. Carpine has a 9.6 century to his credit and also 21 flat for the 220. Jones however holds two victories over the "Cheney ace, and he is expected to make it three. Be Thrifty.... Save Money! Your Car Serviced At Faltus & Peterson "WHERE YOUR CAR IS PROPERLY SERVICED" * Certified Lubrication . . . Steam Cleaning Tire Service and Battery Service PHONE MAIN 146 SIXTH AND MAIN STREETS - ».••• o •» 0 o 0 0 o 0 o « e o ft" o - 0 0 0 0 o- 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 Service NORTH PEARL ST. Ellensburg 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.' 0 0 0 0 0. 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 NEW HURRACHES WHITE — NATURAL 2.45 COOL — COMFORTABLE FOR SUMMER WEAR . • ... • NEW .LOW PRICES on Berkshire Stockings 69c to 1.35 MUNDY'S FAMILY SHOE STORE "Berkshire Headquarters" rlodked in exceptionally geod, time, of 1ft minutes 16 seconds. Forjd's^-tjbine, just a fraction of a seco»d)^o-wer, was the best turned in by Wirie© run­ ners for several years. The mile relay was, the feature of the afternoon. Each of the exchanges was made with both, teams even. The Ford won the event in 3:29.9. Long, Frosh sprinter, ecored the only . double win of the meet when he defeated Casey Jones in the-1X80 and the 220. The Wildcats won three of the field events. Charley Breithaupt heaved the javelin 163 feet 4 inches to "win the event from Merrill- jjjlaaigen, an­ other ex-Bulldog now wi|h^the Frosh. Phil Mirosh and Pat Maartin placed one-two in the high jump with Mirosh clearing 5 feet 10 inches. The other first was taken by Bob Creed of the Wildcats with a 20 ft. 4 in. leap. Summary: 100-yard Dash—Won by Long ('F Jones (E) second Creed (B) third. Time: :10.1. 220-yard Dash—Won by Long fF) Jones (E second Cates. £F third. Time: :22.3. ... \ 440-yard Dash —-Won iby Orchard (E) Bridges (E) second Powers^(F) third. Time: :51.€. X 880-yard Run — "V^on by Swenzey (F) Wilson (E) second Yocom (E) third. Time: 2:02. •Mile Run—Won by Brinkley Bach (E). second Sullivan (E) third. Time: 4:40.2. Two-mile Run — Won by Hayter (E) Ford (E) second Cohfrell fE) third. Time: 10:16. 1 - I 120-yard High Hurdles—(Won by Martin (E) Magers (F) second Pra- nich (E) third. Time: :16.1. ~- 220-yard Low Hurdles — Won by Garretson (F) Magers (F) second Martin (E third. Time: f26.2. Mile Relay — Won- by Freshmen. Timer 3:28.9. / Track Events High Jump—Won by Mirosh (E) Martin (E) second Straumfjord (F) third. Height: 5 ft. 10 in. Shot—Won by Harrison (iF) Freid- man (F) second Ottelin (E) third. Distance: 42 feet 2 inches. Javelin—Won by Breithaupt £E) Haagen (F) second Longshoie (F) third. Distance: 163 ft. 4 in. •Discus—Won by Friedman (F) Ot­ telin (E1 second North (E) third. Distance: 127 feet. ......j Pole Vault — Won by Crich»hine (F) McGoun (F) second Miller" (E) Aguirie (F) and Bail-(iF) ^-tied for third. Height: 11 ft. 9 in. Board Jump—Won by Creed fcEK Pfau (F) second Senda (F) third. Distance—20 feet 1% inches. ' The Nifty Barber Shop 315 North Maan Street HAIRCUTS 35c FRANK MEYER '-If- MANDER (Continued from Page 1) to be seen, the speaker said. » "But war or peace, the present gen­ eration "and the one to come will have the problem of finding a more effi cient government for the modern world," Dr. Mander concluded. Street's Plan Explained In the discussion which followed, Dr. Mander explained Striet's plan for a world federation described in his book Union Now, the reasons for the failure of the League of Nations and the influence of economic conditions upon world affairs. The forum was sponsored by the Herodotean Club. Dr. iMander was introduced by Mr. Barto, adviser of the club. CRYSTAL GARDENS Bowling Alley Special afternoon prices. Free instruc­ tions- Tennis RODpliw. Backets restrnng and repaired. Ask for RUS8 HEARIN » - ± : f* CADDIE TOTES CLUBS ON 949 COURSEJS Happy O'Brien of Boston,-' world touring caddie, who has carried ^,hibd on three continents and from England, landed in ^A|Jiuatai jGa., recently and chatted with! Goo, Serifce O. B. Keeler. Asked ab^£ hw^reajrd, Happy replied, "I don't know^pheve it will end. The original projg^gitktans that I was to set out on. from Boston without a diin^, jarp cad­ die my way into and out ...of tj^ree continents—North and Sou^ Ai»«nca and Europe, which of course means the British Isles.".. O'Brien is.-cai tour again in this country and had, when in Atlanta, 949 autographed ^core cards, all from different layouts. He has been as far south as Rid do Ja­ neiro, and as far north as Glasgow, Scotland. He has traveled 65,000 miles. He remarked, "I've deceived for carrying clubs and Bttle dona­ tions for 60-cdd radio talks just over $4000. I rarely have as much as four bucks at a time, and I've never Ridden on a train in the whole trip." Wqlter Hagen named him Happy a score of years ago. THE CAMPUS CRIER 1 • v • i * x* ^%vi 1 , -fx? 4 C&i : £ ^ M America's Busiest Corner Chicago's Madison and State Streets, where Officers HARRY KLEPSTEEN and THOMAS McGINTY keep the traffic moving. And at every corner CHESTERFIELD is America's busiest cigarette because smokers have found them Definitely Milder, Cool­ er-Smoking and Better-Tasting. I i.:,. AMERICA'S BUSIEST CIGARETTE ...atevery corner its Chesterfield ... today's definitely milder.. . cooler- smoking ... better-tasting cigarette ^V\^ien you buy a pack of cigarettes, give it the smoker's perfect quiz ... Is it mild? Is it cool? Does it taste better? If you do that, you'll turn by choice to Chesterfield because Chesterfield has all the answers. Their blend of the best tobaccos grown, ^ their size, shape and the way they burn, all help to make Chesterfield America's ' Busiest Cigarette. Make your next pack Chesterfield You can't buy a better Cigarette HP Copyright 1940 Jjggbtt& IfefBRS Tobacco Co. • CHAOS (Continued from Page. 1) . interests involved.. They would have other proposals, radically different from the German suggestion. ^ . it * * -' The Allies have placed orders with ' American producing companies dur- J ing-tTitevpast two weeks for more than §209«(MMbQGG worth of airplanes. This announcement comes from Arthur B. • -Purvis, British, and Rene Pleven, ^ren^i, representatives of the Allied -rpurcliasing mission. The ^ulies are compelled, if possi- b!e,-to obtain mastery of the air from the Germarts and are here to buy car- • Tiers with which control "of the ether is achieved. American Naval Secretary Charles U.'.Eais&ft. is thoroughly "sold" on warships as an important part of this courttty's floating war machine. " "JTHe airplane," he said, "is proving a valuable arm of sea warfare but has hot supplanted the warships and •prolrtflMy will not." Nothing that has happened to date in Europe, he de- claredTfiroves that surface vessels are not the mainstay of any naval opera­ tions. He insisted the American Navy must fee strengthened in lfcany places if it is " to keep anywhere near the 5-5-3 ration with Great Britain and War Sidelights—Pathfinder. TO THE EDITOR o o Dear Editor: According to this week's Crier, the Sophomore class is going to subscribe '( a magazine for the Lounge. I'm a member of that class, and I'm glad •vek-e doing it, but—Have you seen '.he condition of those magazines in there now? 'I think something should be done. If the students who use the Lounge don't think enough of it to keep it looking nice, why should we have one? Those odd pages lying around don't help the appearance of the place, but most of all, more than one person may want' to read those magazines, and I get thoroughly aroused when I find part of a page torn out for some clipping. We have (hose old ones in the book store for that. I don't think we rate any^maga- zines if we're going to treat them that way. —An Irate Reader. Dear Editor: Perhaps the Crier can help arouse the proper authorities to action re­ garding the matter which I hope to call to attention. All over the campus work crews and the gardener are constantly keep­ ing our campus clean and beautiful' except for ' one unsightly mess. Is ' there any one place on the campus that needs to be more attractive than •, he place that we look at the most, namely, out the window? , When I first came to Kamola Hall :ver two years ago I was confronted with a choice of one of the shunned rooms with windows facing the back court, arid was assured-that* there was promise of its being cleared up. There is still promise of.its being cleared up, along with the protest that stor­ age space is needed. May IVsuggest-that broken bath­ room fixtures, a barrel of dirt, a maze of chicken wire, rusty oil barrels, broken ladders, old hot water tank, and other such junk can be as con-, veniently available for the purpose they now serve if stored in some con­ venient garbage dump. —E. O. Firestone Tires, Brake Service, Gasoline Batteries, Ignition Service, Lubrication. Retreading, Vulcanizing', Accessories, Oils, Vulcanizing:, Wheel Aligning Rims, Wheels Camozzy-Williams Super-Service Station SuperService 24 Hrs. a Day 6TH & MAIN Ellensburg m BOOK REVUE By ELDON LINDSAY It is sometimes interesting to go further back in the history of humor than this week's New Yorker, and see what people laughed at prior to Gracie Allen and Jack Benny. In 1895 was inflicted upon a some­ what dizzy era—the Gay Nineties—a book that dealt with the high life of the upper crust orf Hades. Forming a club known as the Associated Shades—strictly a stag organization —this upper crust used as a clubroom a houseboat on the river that divides the defunct ancients from their un- defunct posterity. The name of this book was The Houseboat on the Styx. Its author was John Kendrick Bangs. Munchausen's Stories Included In the Associated Shades were such bygone magnificoes as Charles Darwin, William Shakespeare, Noah, Napoleon Bonaparte, and Soc­ rates. Excellent use is also made of Baron Munchausen, who tells a story or two. When this truthful Baron is or the verge of telling of an experi­ ence he had with Jonah's famous whale, Jonah himself appeals to Judge Blackstone: "I desire to apply for an injunction restraining the Baron from using my whale in his story. That ""whale, your honor, is copyrighted. . . . That whale is my stock in toade—he is my all." At more successful times the Baron does succeed' in telling stories which have since won prizes fof dozens of fellows in Liar's Contests. Darwin Taken For a Ride Insofar as there are "certain cli­ matic peculiarities" in connection with Hades, when we first stumble over the eminent Doctor Darwin, he is reading "an asbestos copy of the London- Times." Mr. Darwin's well- known theory of evolution is taken for a merry joy-ride. Regarding the, monkey-theory, there was no- doubt in Baron Mun­ chausen's mind that prior to the flood all men had tails. Noah and his sons had the help of a prehensile tail when they slapped the~ Ark together, ac­ cording to the Baron. Thackeray's Theory Theories for how Man came to lose his tail ranged from Munchausen's notion that they may have overwork­ ed it building the Ark to the theory of Thackeray that, since men of the Nineties were losing their hair by wearing derby hats, perhaps the an­ cients wore their hats on their tails. Curious, too, was the theory of Doc­ tor Samuel Johnson. He thought that Adam and Eve had been kicked out of Eden for taking a swing on the for­ bidden tree. He interpreted the ser­ pent as the tail, being the appurten­ ance that tempted them to the trans­ gression. As punishment Adam and Eve lost their tails, and the tail itself was compelled to work for a living and do its own walking. The snakes of the present day he believed* to he the missing' tails of men. Said he: "'Somewhere in the world is a tail for every man and woman and child. Where one's tail is no one can ever say, but that it exists simultaneously with its owner I believe." Shakespeare Sets Up Shop One of the mellower characters of the skit is he who once wrote about "that undiscovered country, from whose bourne no traveler returns." Fretting at the dramatic stagnation of the Hades Theater, he yearned to commute, between Hades and London. He wanted to rent an office in the lat­ ter city, and put out a sign something like this: ' "WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE, -Dra­ matist. Plays written _ while you. wait." • Bacon-Shakespeare Controversy To Lord Bacon, who claimed that tShakespeare had been his stenogra­ pher, to whom he had dictated Ham­ let, Shakespeare retorted: "I deny it. I admit you gave me a suggestion now and then so as to keep it dull and heavy in spots, so that it would seem more like a real tragedy tEan a comedy punctuated with deaths, but beyond that you had nothing to do with it." Since Mr. Shakespeare's famous au­ tographs were bringing a thousand dollars apiece on the New York mar­ ket, he was trying to get up a scheme whereby he would contribute an au­ tograph a week to'a syndicate, to be sold to the public. Said .Doctor John­ son: Johnson Cools Shakespeare "I'd rather have a morning-glory vine than one of iShakespeare's auto­ graphs. They are far prettier, and quite as legible." ~ In the last episode came the vil­ lain. Prior to the villain, Queen Eliz­ abeth, Ophelia. (Hamlet's girl-friend who went nuts), and Xanthippe (the wife of Socrates), invaded the House­ boat. Because there was a prize-fight down the river between Goliath and Samson, The Associated Shades were absent at the 'time. The coast was clear for the ladies and the villain. Seeing the opportunity, Queen Liz called up her pals,«.Lucrezia Borgia and Mrs. Caesar, who brought a half- SOCIAL CALENDAR Thursday, May 2 — Prof. Martin, lecture on Orient, 10 a. m., auditor­ ium. Women's League Assembly, 10:45 a. m., auditorium. Club Night, 7 p. m., assigned. Friday, May 3—Junior Senior meet­ ing, 7:30 p. m., Elementary School Auditorium. Saturday, May 4—High School Sen­ ior Day on campus. Matinee dance for high school seniors, 4 p. m., new gym. Saturday, May 4—MAY PROM, 9 p. m., new gym. Tuesday, May 7 — Dr. Roundtree, lecture Education for Discrimination, 10 a. m., auditorium. Club Night, 7 1». m. assigned. Wednesday, May 8—W. E. A. meet­ ing with students, 4 p. m. After din­ ner dancing, 6:30 p. m., old gym. Thursday, May 9—Club Night, 7 p. m., assigned. Saturday, May 11 — Mother's Day tea by faculty women, 2:30-4:30. Ban­ quet for girls and their mothers, 6:30 p. m., dining hall. Program—dance drama, choir, drama, orchestra, organ and vocal solo, 8:30 p. m., auditorium. Open to all school and'public. Sunday, May 12—Mother's Day. Tuesday, May 14 — Picnic. Esch- bach Park. Wednesday, May 15—After dinner dancing, 6:30 p. m., old gym. Thursday, May 16—Nomination as­ sembly, 10 a. m., auditorium. Kappa Delta Pi Book Review, 8 p. m., Elem. Sch. Aud. Dr. Carstensen. Friday, May 17—College Orchestra Concert, 8:15 p. m., auditorium. Saturday, May 18—Frosh Frolic, 9 p. m., old gym. W. A. A. camping trip. Sunday, May 19—-Munson's break­ fast for faculty men, 9 a. m., dining room. Monday, May 20—All school movie, REBECCA, Liberty Theatre. Tuesday, May 21—Club Night, 7:00 p.m., assigned. Concert—Walter Bull and Roy Welsh, 8 p. m., auditorium. Wednesday, May 22—After dinner dancing, 6:30 p. m., old gym. Thursday, May 23—Stump speech­ es, 10 a. m., auditorium. Dance con­ cert, 3:30 p. m., auditorium. Herodo- tean bean, feed, 5:30 p. m., City Park. Friday, May 24 — Kappa Delta Pi banquet, 6 p. m., New York Cafe Blue Room. College Choir, 8:15 p. m., auditorium. Saturday, May 25 — Sue Lombard formal, 9 p. m., Sue Lombard. Tues­ day, May 28—Commencement rehear­ sal, 10 p. m., auditorium. College Band, 8 p. m., auditorium. Wednesday, May 29—Dress rehear­ sal "Ethan Frome," 7 p. m., auditor­ ium. Thursday, May 30—Holiday. Friday, May 31-—All school play— Ethan Frome, 8:15 p. m.,- auditor­ ium. Saturday, June 1—Closed weekend. Sunday, June 2? — Baccalaureate, auditorium. " Wednesday, June 5 Commence­ ment. Seattle, "not all of them had accepted as yet" . . . Pop Nelson, present supt. of Washougal was A. S. B. president, his brother Paul had accepted a posi­ tion as eighth grade teacher and coach in Castle Rock. Later he mar­ ried the lady who is now Mr. Whit­ ney's secretary and settled down as coach in Ellensburg High . . . The Cat's Whiskers, a famous scandal sheet published twice yearly, was due in a short time. Alumni tell us that this was really something to work on, all contributors being anonymous and nothing barred. Working on it was the only means of keeping out of it. It has been defunct for about six years . . . why not revive it ? —The Last Puritan dozen ladies down, including Desde- mona and Cleopatra. Ladies Reorganize Calling a session, the ladies reor­ ganized the club, expelled all gentle­ men members for their conduct in at­ tending a prize-fight, and elected Cleopatra as permanent president. Captain Kidd, tfte villain, who lurk­ ed in the offing, had set himself up in piracy, and was open for business. He proceeded to kidnap the House­ boat, with all the ladies on board, and there was lamentation in Hades. Regarding this theft, Socrates alone was unaffected. . Socrates Pessimistic "They'll come back some day," said he. ^ "I'll never lose my Xanthippe— permanently, that is. I know that, for I am a philosopher, and I know there is no such thing as luck." John Kendrick Bangs, the House­ boat's author, was functioning up to 1922. ' Since that time he has been eligible for membership in the Asso­ ciated Shades. FOURTEEN MEN (Continued from Page 1) above mentioned snappy organizer. And Or H. Holmes, who's football ability drew a paragraph in the news story, joined the .Social Science De­ partment. Old Stuff The first" editorial concerned the new Lib." It wis nice to.have a quiet place to. study," but the chairs scrap­ ing on the marble floors of the new building made it difficult to concen­ trate. This editorial has been rewrit­ ten every year since by the very orig­ inal editors of the campus paper . . . The Hyakem was going to be bigger and better with a picture on every page . . . the school was under a scar­ let fever ban and the Music Depart­ ment had to cancel trips to lower val­ ley high schools (where they were going to spread culture) ... six stu­ dents had been offered cadetships in Writing Paper 72 SHEETS PAPER 50 ENVELOPES 49c Ellensburg Book & Stationary Co. ELMER SUDLER NEW YORK LIFE Expert Life Insurance Service Office: Wash. Natl. Bank Bldg Office—Main 682 Res.—R. 3591 iiiitiMifitiimmiiMifiiiuimmmtim Drink Bottled COCOA-COLA Sody-Licious Beverage Co. RAMSAY HARDWARE CO. 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