A. 7^e 0U&i CENTRAL WASHINGTON COLLEGE APRIL 1, 1948 ELLENSBURC SPRING QUARTER TO FEATURE TWO STUDENT ELECTIONS True or False? True! Students of Central Washington College will go to the polls next Tuesday in a special 'SGA election to vote on Initiative I. Should this proposal be favored by a two-thirds majority of the student body it will be incorporated in the student, gov­ ernment constitution as Amendment I. The regular SGA Spring election fdW'seven Executive Board members and two Honor Council members has been postponed to April 22 to give time for this proposed law to go into effect providing it passes the student voice. Petitions for candidates are being accepted, however, and will be used to submit candidates, except in the case of representatives at large if the initiative is favored. The dead­ line for petitioning has been set April 12. Petitions must contain 20 student signatures. Each student may not siggi more than one petition for each office to be filled. Executive Board members must have at least 40 hours of college credit with an average of C" at the time of assuming office. Honor Council members must have 104 . credit hours with an average of "C." Newly elected officers will assume office at the end of Spring quarter. The initiative was submitted to the SGA council by the procedure of petitioning, and the Board called the special election. A permanent election committee, Rhil George, Mrs. Pat Casey Miller and Collene Cameron, will be in charge of holding the elections. Pe­ titions for c&ndidates may be sub­ mitted to one of these members. Are You Blue, Lonely, Sad, Need a Companion? We' re at Your Service True or False? Lonely Hearts! Dr., Elwyn Odell, CWCE social science professor, this week took over presidency of the Lonely Hearts club. "The club hasn't made too many points so far," he said, "but I trust that since I am taking over, cthe club will double its membership." The former policy of the club was extended last week to allow anyone who wished to enter. It was changed again this week when the dog at Sue Lombard applied for membership. Dr. Odell declined to comment on the incident, but was overheard mut­ tering something about "damned dogs." Wit Battle Due For Showdown True or False? Neither! An act that was originally planned to be a joke may result in a march to the altar for two boys of Muson Hall, one off campus man, and three prospective brides to be. When George Moergeli made a public announcement of the en­ gagements of vern Siegper and I^s McNab in the Munson dining hall last week, little did he realize that the worst was yet to come. (Moer­ geli did not give the names of the brides-to-be, but it was understood that it was to be Siegner-Mary High- mith and McNab-Evelyn Cain). The announcement had the rumor lanes buzzing. Was it because the play boys were surprised or was it because they sensed an air of hos­ tility? At any rate, the stage was set for the impending attack by the Siegner-McNab factions. The inevitable retaliaion came last evening when Siegner addressed the students dining at Muson Hall with the resounding announcement of George Moergeli's forthcoming mar­ riage to Miss Maxine Weed to be executed this coming Saturday. The public was invited. The prognosticators of future hap­ penings are speculating as to just the Moergeli headquarters. Some­ one was heard to speculate the pos- what the next move willJ be from bility of Moergeli wearing his rec­ ent birthday present—just to give Siegner a scarce. The Central Community members seem to be experiencing a period of topsy-turvy. With the involved boy's gtrl-frWhds "in* an uncertain mood as to what their reaction •should be, the situation promises an experience unique in its category for student life at "Center of the State's Institutions for Degradation of/Better Character." It's Hard To Fool An Intelligent Man True or False? False! The greatest statement of modern times came from a Centralite last week and dubfounded the world be­ cause "no one seemed to appreciate the true value of such an excellent education." "D-w-w-w, you caint fool me 'cause I'm too ig-nor-ant," casu­ ally remarked John Issacson. to himself last week only to startle the world while nation wide alarms were sounded in expectation of crushing effects on humanity. It was these same people of the same world who were stymied, be­ cause apparently no one seemed to be startled by the resounding vi- berations by what was termed to be the greatest teaching of all time "because it was short, factual and to the point." The student government lost no time in taking advantage of this opportunity to put Central on the map. They immediately sent a feeleer to the Thorp Chamber of Commerce to see if that thriving cen­ ter of society would oe interested in having a booming college com­ munity, farther away so that Stevie would quit bothering them. Refusing to get too involved, Mr. Stephens said, "Quit fooling yourselves folks go on out to Thorp and get an education. Issacson is in the hospital re­ cuperating from an illness caused from lack o'f shock. He secretly hopes, that people will heed his state ment before it is too rate to rescue mankind. (Continued in The Campus Rocket) COMMUNISTS BEGIN CWC REIGN, GIVE ATTRACTIVE ORDERS True or False? Forbidden! Taking over the reign of the stu­ dent government at midnight, a new communist dominated regime will revise the governing body to con­ form with their ideals today. This sudden shift of power was realized when the reds marched in­ to the governing council during a regular meeting^ lEtst evening and disposed of every member of the former executive body. Announce­ ment of the new order did not come until midnight. No organized resistance has been in evidence and none is expected to arise because of the attractiveness of the new government's program. "Happy living at Central for every student," is the long range plan of the new regime. Following is a list of revisions al­ ready incorporated in the laws gov­ erning the student body: 1. There will positively be no more planned social events. 2. In addition to the regular school curriculum, all students must take an additional five hours per quarter of student government law, class to be conducted by the govern­ ment. 3. All male students must attend military classes to be conducted by the government at least 20 hours each week. No credit will be given for this work. 4. All athletic programs will be discontinued. 5. All women students must spend at least 20 hours each week working for the common cause Duties to be designated by the gov­ ernment. 6. No one is to leave the em- campment without special permis­ sion from the governing body. Announcements of additional laws to be enforced will be made at reg­ ular intervals. Flames Drop Ad School Proclaims Building Holiday With all the remarks flying back and forth from one hopeful presi­ dent to another, (also hopeful), we might suggest that someone call all of them a more appropriate name —April Pool (without the April). REMEMBER TUESDAY'S ELECTION Traditional Bowery Ball To Be Given Saturday True or False? True! One of the traditional student af­ fairs at Central Washington College, the Bowery Ball, will be sponsored by the Maskers and Jesters and Kappa Pi in the new gym Satur­ day night, April 3 for the first time since pre-war days. Gay '90 costumes will be the style. Stupendous decorations and a Gay '90's floor show will add attraction to the colorful theme of the affair. Music will be a presentation of the Music Makers. The Crier was unable to give a complete news coverage of the Ball. This issue was printed during Spring vacation, and compete news sources were not available. Central Landmark Succumbs To Blaze After Serving School Faithfully Through Trying Years True or False? Lead Scoop! In a cloud of smoke and cinders at 5 a. m. this morning, the Administration building of C.W.C.E. collapsed in a heap of ashes. It was discovered ablaze at 4:30 a. m. when a passing drunk notified the fire department of Ellensburg. Firemen ar­ rived at 4:30:08 and tried valiantly to extinguish the flames ^before the damage was too ex- ensive. A mass of red-hot bricks, :he building crashed into the highway in front of three auto­ mobiles, singing the passengers and Mistering the paint on the cars. Re­ scue work was undertaken im­ mediately by a squad of boys from Munson Hall who organized in an unsuccessful attempt to save Pro- essor Beck's tuba from the blaz­ ing inferno of the second floor. It was discovered this morning as a gob of molten brass among the ash­ es. Five Munson men in the rescue squad had their hair and eyebrows completely burned ofi while carry­ ing out their heroic efforts. Their names will riot be disclosed until temporary wigs have been ordered. Dr. Samuelson was upon the scene almost immediately and directed operations until he was relieved by the chief of police, who at the time of the fire was .busy clocking an out of town motorist who was going 25.000063 miles per hour down Main street. Work of directing the. fire was so strenuous that both were^tak- en to the infirmary with severe shock. Upon entering the blazing build­ ing, one valiant rescuer said he noticed five boys scrambling out the back windows in the old woman's gym. Their identity has not been established but it is assumed they were college boys. An immediate in­ spection of all boys' with burns who were not helping with rescue work will be undertaken to catch the cul­ prits. IX*. McConnell stated that since an Administration building will be necessary, the plans for the new athletic building may be discarded in favor of reproducing an exact re­ plica of the old Ad Building. "This will be done for sentimental reasons", Dr. McConnell said. (Continued on page three) Stir It Up Good, And Let It Settle True or False? Dreaming! Working against the hardest pres­ sure ever encountered in the history of Central Washington College, the editorial staff of The Campus Liar has finally been conceded the right to "turn Conservative." This granted power came about as the result of developments brought about suddenly when The Liar staff decided that it might be just as much or more fun to be conservative. The announcement came as a shock to the student council, who immediately began planning counter measures against any reactionary move such as the "one in question. For weeks the campus was sty­ mied by hot arguments of the radi­ cals. The press must conform with the personality of the school! they screamed. With a conservative press sending false reports to neighbor­ ing, schols, no longer would CWC be classified as the home of the radi­ cals. Such statements as these rang out loud and clear. But now the battle cries are fiesird no longer. The student body has given in to the whims of The Liar, and all have settled down to live the peaceful life that is that of the students of Central Washington Col­ lege. Late news bulletins confirm a previously rumored report that The jar had decided to swing back to the left for at least five more dec­ ades. "This is necessary because of the present local, national and in­ ternational political battles," said Bugs Bunny, editor. INITIATIVE TO BE PRESENTED FOR VOTE INITIATIVE I True or False? True! SECTION 1—The elective members of the Execu­ tive Board shall consist of a President, Vice-President, and Secretary selected from the student body at large, and one elective Representative from each of the following resident­ ial groups: Munson Hall, Kamola Hall, Sue Lombard Hall, Walnut Street Dormitories, Off-Campus Men, Off-Campus Women, and Vetville (including all married students). SECTION II—Members of the Association shall vote only for the President, Vice-President, Secretary, and a Representative from their respective residential group. SECTION III—Providing any of the above men­ tioned student groups are disbanded or any similar res­ idential groups added, a similar petition for amendment may be submitted to the student body. THEY MARCHED TRUE TO COMMANDER TRUE True or False? True Knows! Captain Richard True, command- ng officer of the National Guarc Unit of Ellensburg invaded the town of Ellensburg late last night in final attempt to conquer the capi­ talistic ideas prevalent here. Captain True, leading a heavily armed company of 30 men, ran rampant through the streets as ex- cied women and children hid from sight. Most of the able bodied men of the town are already in the guard, so the town is almost defense­ less. Establishing himself in the court­ house, Captain True started his first reign as dictator. His many fol­ lowers stood outside and fought off the noisy band of college students. Throwing paper chips, rubber bands, old school books and folded term papers, the students charged four times but were defeated by the val­ iant company and three stray dogs. The leader of the students, Dale Troxel, was heard saying that it was the dogs that did it. Refusing to admit defeat without a glimpse at the invaders, the El­ lensburg Rodeo Posse sent a foot messenger disguised as a blind beg­ gar, "just to take a reading of the developments." (Continued in your mind.) Yep, Doc, There's Good News True or False? Troxelonus! Dale Troxel, prominent CWC sophomore, suffered severe injuries last night in a fall from a third floor window of Munson Hall. Troxel, a resident of Munson, spent much of his time at CWC leaning out of the window of his room, watching he fair sex coming from Sue Lom­ bard and making dissolute remarks concerning the anatomical charac­ teristics" of these morsels of femi­ ninity. Troxel, always optimistic , was heard to mutter to himself, "So far, so good!" as he passed the second floor. He has never regained un­ consciousness and is expected to remain in that state indefinitely. Troxel is being visited by his parents, Mr. and Mrs. D. H. Troxel of Hog Wallow, one brother, one sister, and mongrel dog of unde­ termined origin, named Beans. When Columbus discovered Amer­ ica little did he realize that the Communists would be trying to cov­ er it back up again within a short span of 500 years. (President Tru­ man should steal this remark and hurl it at Henry Wallace.)
2 THE CAMPUS CRIER April 1, 1948 The Campus Crier THE CAMPUS CRIER Published weekly as the official publication of the Student Government Association of Central Washington College of Ed­ ucation, Ellensburg, Washington. Student subscription included in Associated Student fee. Subscription rate $1.00 per three quarters. Printed by the Record Press. Entered as second class matter at the post office at Ellensburg, Washington. Address: Editorial offices, Campus Crier, Room 401 Ad­ ministration Bldg., Ellensburg. Print Shop, Record Press, Fourth and Main, Ellensburg. Telephone news and advertising, 2-6369. Member of Washington Intercollegiate Press Association, Ass^ciatec* Collegiate Press. Represented for national advertis­ ing by National Advertising Service, Inc., College Publishers Representative, 420 Madison Ave., New York City. Editor 1.......Gerald Varner News Editor 4 Dan Ranniger Copy Editor Bob Hager Sports Editor 1 ....Tony Adeline Society Editor Roxiann Bundy Business Managers Betty Shelton, Jim Sailers Crier Photographers ......Gordon Flint, Bud Dennis Exchange Editor :...Rita Jobe Gossip Editor Benny Jarrett Feature Writers Doug Poage, Warren Faulkner Sports Reporters Robert Slingland, Art Belcher, Barbee Nesbitt Reporters Ann Belch, Myrtle Hatcher, Mary Hitchcock, Bob Larson, Dick Nor­ man, Charlotte Roe, Jim Stevens, Glenna Ritchey, Lois Wade, Mrs. Ken Knowlton, Betty Jo Keelen Publications Advisor ...Bert Cross more than just a chuckle out of it. We sincerely hope that we have not jeopardized any person's char­ acter from either obvious or hidden insinuations. We tried to use names when possible for the purpose of boosting character, as well as to give the material a humorous flavor­ ing. This is not a grudge scandal sheet —we hope it will not be interpreted as such. We made this little excursion for the benefit of the Experience with the intent of making student life on the Central Washington Collge cam­ pus more enjoyable GERALD VARNER. MERITS VIEWED Editorial The fact that the United States was the supply base and the wart- house for the goods that win wars has been attributed to our capi­ talistic system which was able to. accomplish these memorable and essential feats? No it was socialized industry which enabled this country to become the winning power in the two world wars. During wars the industries of the land are placed under governmental control and production co-ordinated so as to insure maximum efficiency. To top this, the, principle^ industries were freed of their hampering re­ strictions on artificial output, sup­ ply of capital - and raw materials, skilled labor and technical advisors. What is this other than socialism? Don't attribute our war successes to capitalism—give socialism it's just appraisal. RUSS CAMMON. PRACTICE PEACE Editorial The only method 'by which the world can have a peace satisfactory to-the great majority is through an international federation of world government. It is possible to have peace outside of such an organiza­ tion, but it will be decided by a one sided peace with either one of the two great world powers dictat­ ing their terms to the rest of the world. Don't you consider it common "horse sense" to try world govern­ ment before we get down to bayo­ nets and bullets. The UN was an attempt for world government but it died the day it was born, for it lacked the support of the U. S. gov­ ernment as well as the support of the other great world powers. President Truman says the world must have peace, it cannot stand another war. That is a very fine statement but it has the important characteristic of meaning virtually nothing unless it is backed up by the practice of peaceful acts. RUSS CAMMON. SOUTHERN REVOLT , Editorial. Many Americans who are using their democratic rights of free thought are noting a complex inter­ nal situation very similar to the in­ ternational turmoil. If this situa­ tion was widely exposed in its true sense, it would prove mighty embar­ rassing to some of our "promising politicians of the day." The item in question is none oth­ er Hi an the proposed legislation that, would force national civil rights laws on the states. We heartily agree that all men should be entitled to equal opportunities, but can hardly apologize to ourselves enough to applaud the blunt manfeuVdrin^ of the hopeful and present political leaders of today. If the political leaders of democ­ racy cannot refrain from forcing un­ wanted legislation on the minority groups for political reasons, we may as well give the enterprise up as a bad deal after these more or less successful 173 years of democratic experimenting and try some other system. In their mad rush in vote getting campaigns, the contributes to more rotten politics:forget (to the ignor­ ance of the people) that it is impos­ sible to change age-old customs and traditions by legislation without shattering that society to shreds. But by urging such legislation, they chuckle in silence as they realize that they are swaying the emotions of a majority of the people who con­ tribute more than three-fourths of the votes in the electoral college. The battle, pro and con, has been raging in the national government since the Civil War, but if any pol­ itician has been far sighted enough to view the social implications in­ volved with an open mind, the act has not been very well publicized. Social scientists have made surveys in the areas practicing racial segre­ gation, but public officials refuse to base their actions on these reports because to do so they would have to appeal to the intelligence of the citizens to get votes. Evidently this isn't as effective as an act that would permit an appeal to the emo­ tions of the voter. * People who have visited the south­ ern states can readily understand that that section of the country h$s not enjoyed any period of true pros­ perity since the Blue and Gray were shooting at each other. And the present problem is one that had its origin and continuance with that economic lull. But few northern citizens care to investigate the southern situation. Their prejudice toward the southern white is often more intense than that of the south­ ern whites toward the Negroes. If the northern industrialists and politicians want to dictate to the southern states, they slipped some­ where back up the line. They had them captives once, why did they loose the chains? GERALD VARNER. TO THE SCHOOL True or False? True! To The Editor: (Open letter to the faculty and students, with special note to pub­ licity and music department). If the fore mentioned would like a glance at the complete lack of pride in the institution and depres­ sive attitude in school publicity, one need only wander over the campus till confronted by the olive drab monstrosities that the band and choir were transported on their recent tours. I believe that a school with or­ ganizations of the calibre of the CWCE band and choir should have transportation, with a polish, if not equivalent, at least near their sta­ tus. Olive drab was used by the army to conceal their forces. 'Is this the object of CWCE?" If it is, the band and choir should go to the nearest army surplus and obtain new uni­ forms. But if they want decent transportation, they should insist that the busses be given new uni­ forms. I suggest a coat of white paint with the college Wildcat painted on the sides and back, plus an adequate space for advertising the organiza tion using the busses. NILS ISAKSSON. ONE PARTY RULE Editorial If the states get around to put ting all the presidential candidates on their tickets, American voters will have a variety of men to pick their chief executive from the stand­ point of numbers this November. In addition to the two major par­ ties, there will be Henry Wallace with his third party Norman Thomas, who has vowed to fight against Wallace, for the sixth time on the Socialist ticket and the pro hibitionist, maybe headed by Sam Morris, a Texas preacher. In ad­ dition to this list, several citizens have announced their candidacy, but few if any of these, will be admitted on state ballots. And the Southern Democrats are still without a candidate. They are opposed to the civil right program thrit excludes Truman, Wallace and \the entire Republican party. They must either get rid of Truman, or select a sectional candidate, or be very discontendted lads indeed. But the perturbing factor remains, that two of the parties advocate virtually the same program, and the rest of the lot advocate theories that are utterly fantastic from the standpoint of American democracy. It all boils down to the fact that we will have one proposed program to vote for. Take your choice of the two men. It's not far from the truth when we say that technically, we have one party rule. So go to the polls and exercise your democratic rights—vote for the party. GERALD VARNER. WHY THIS ISSUE Editorial This is the one you have been waiting for, kids. So crawl on the band wagon and enjoy it. This is a special edition—an added feature of the Crier staff. The staff did the work and our advertisers paid the publishing fees. Some of this might be considered light * reading, but part of it is def­ initely more than that. Some of the writers have certainly shown crea­ tive imagination, and if their articles are read with that in mind, the reader of college level can get far Three small boys were talking about their fathers. The son of writer said, "My father just writes a few words on a piece of paper and gets $25 for it." "Oh!" said the lawyer's son, "my daddy just sits in a room and tells people what to do, and they give him $50 for it." "That's nothing," said the par son's son, "my dad gets up in the pulpit, preaches for a few minutes, and when he's finished it takes eight men to take up the money." You, Too, s •'J SHE SPRUNG IT True or False? 'Sprung! Spring is here, yes, spring has sprung, The birds are chirping while minus a lung. The brooks are bubbling all over with joy, The insects are necking, and being so coy. The (trees are growing with such utter bliss, The jalopies are running with many - a miss. Grasses are coming and shine out so green Everything south from the wind it does lean. The lawn on the college is crowded' so full, The guys are spreading the usual bull. The girls are coquettish with a braid and a tassle. And it must be the Spring 'cause OH how they rassle. . True or False? Crier Phylosophyl Are you a victim of-the grading system? If so ,you are largely a victim of you own^circumstances, or so says the students who persist in pulling iti the high markers. The Crier tabulated the following points suggesting the easiest route toward the perfect score and submitted them to numerous owners of A*8 for^ • - ~ criticism and helpful hints. So if you would like to try your luck the way others do it, take heed. Here is the secret: 1. Examine the grading system with an open mind and decide whether or not A's would be worth­ while to you. Unless you have de­ cided beyond a reasonable doubt that it is worth the effort, you have not passed the first requirement and should not continue the pursuit. 2. Study your professor, his method of presentation, his method of grading and his at­ titude toward the course and students* You must flex your personality to conform with his requirements—not vice versa. 3. Take an unbiased look at the course itself. Ask yourself what you expect to get out of the excursion into this particular field of study. Generalize the proposed material and examine parts of your own back­ ground that may aid in the study of this course. 4. Take a few hours at the begin­ ning of the quarter to plan a tena- tive outline and approach for the material. (Consider the above points in planning this). 5. Now you may decide how much time to devote to daily study. Plan to use that much time and no more, using every minute to its fullest advantage. 6. Once you have planned a schedule make every effort to abide by it. If you cut your study time 30 minutes today because there was no assignment, the bad habit might in­ duce you to cut it an hour tomor­ row. A good idea is to plan ahead to do outside reading on days when there are no assignments. . 6. When you study, forget about examination questions. If you study the material thorough­ ly you- will know the answers when you see the questions. Don't worry about the test study the lesson for the learn­ ing. The test is merely a routine checkup by the professor to see' what you are learning: 7. Learn to generalize the mate­ rial. When you see a fact, let your mind operate freely so that it may see the relationship between . this fact and some other fact. Knowledge of the Gettysburg Address should not only contain the contents, but it relationship with other events of that period. Don't "spot" study do study the complete pattern. 8. When the examination ap­ pears, use this knowledge to let the professor know that you know it Read the question recall the pic­ ture of generalization, and give the answer. 9. Think and organize organize and think. The "A" will be waiting for you at the registrar's office. Night Clerk (picking up receiver for the 50th time within an hour): Well, what's biting you? Outraged, guest: That's wh*t I'd like to know. It States Here That You Have Two Chances True or False? Chance It! You have two chances, One driving with care And one not. If you don't drive with care You have two chances, One of having an accident And one not. And if you have an accident You have two chances, One of getting killed And one of not. And if you get killed, You still have two chances. That's all that's news these days it seems, Although there really should be reams, If you have a tip for us to print About some grad who's a Dionne quint Or maybe is planning to -red some cutie, Or won a contest for sparkling beauty- Give me the word and we'll put it in | And gladly notify next of kin. Tis True Love True or False? Sweet Love! (The following "poem" is com­ posed by prespiring young reporter in a desperate effort to contribute something to this fool issue. It was inspired by the sight of so njany couples bitten by the love bug.) MY TRUE LOVE (Dedicated tor-Guess Who!) We are together constantly, She really loves me so She is content to be with me Wherever I may go. When I am happy, she is gay, But sad when I am blue, She understands my every mood, A truer friend I never know. Her hair has silky copper tones, Her eyes the softest brown, And oft upon her forehfead comes A tiny worried frown. She loves me truly, that I know, What'ere my moods be, down or up, My life would be disconsolate Without........ (Guess who! Would you really like to know? If so, look at the last line of the last page). , The only thing wrong with leav­ ing people floating around in space with the law of gravity as their sup­ port is that people have a feeling of insecurity when^ they are not se­ cure. if you refuse to believe me, try it and find out for yourself. But don't say I didn't warn you. Well what are you waiting for, Dr. Cal- ver. You thought I was going to stop talking three sentences or more ago didn't you. Silly boy—or ex­ cuse me I mean April Fool! , FREE Engagement rings, wed­ ding rings, gowns and all the accesories, including minister household ap­ pliances and diapers. For Sale All brands of poison, guns, knives, and baby atomic bombs. Cut Rate Prices Matriomny ami Disposal, Inc.
April I, 1948 N The Campus Liar APRIL I, 1948 TIME OF READING: NEVER Published occasionally as a means of getting human urges off the chests of the members of The Campus Liar staff, and discarded to the appualding students of cowistry engulfed in trying to better understand how not to understand that grades a*e necessary for worse existing in a non-educated society of the Chicago (windy city) of the West. Copies distributed'free to all resident students if they care to arise at the sound of the paper boy late in the evening. Address: Critical Review Office, Campus Liar, Glow City, Moon. Telephone proven facts and helpful hints from the. direct wire telephone conviently located in Lover's Lane, Glow City. Member of the Incorporated Liar's Press Club of the Campus Liar, boasting exclusive ownership of the slogan: "We Strike Only Once, But You Don t Remember More Than One Minute, Because You Exist Forever." Reading rights are refused to all people who see a copy of The Campus Liar. Purpose of This Edition: To Discourage Attempts at In­ dividual Thinking. Editor Buga Bunny INews Editor Porky Pig Copy Editor Mickey Mpuse —Sports Editor Woody Woodpecker Society Editor : Little Lulu Business Managers, Willie Lumplump* Andy Pandy Crier Photographers —Mongo Mousegriiider, Donald Duck Exchange Editor Mortimer Sneard Gossip Editor Bug Bug Iggywoggle "ters Raggedy Andy, Hazel Chief Bottle Opener ... Snuffy Smith Reporters Superman, Blondie, Dagwood, Jiggs, Daisy Mae, L'll Abner, Brenda Breeze, Little Iodine, • and Katzenjammer Kids. Publications Advisor Available Jones -STEVESAYS: SHAPE UP! HEED MY STEPHENBMS True or False? Ask Stevie! The beloved sweetheart of all psychology students, Professor Wil­ liam , Stephens, being very. consid­ erate, gave The Liar exclusive rights to print the following list of Step- henisms.. "Don't be funny about my Stephe- nisms," Stevie said, "This is the ' truth—each point is worth a million dollars." ' This list was selected from a small volume recorded by Thelma Weimer, student, from Education n class, winter quarter in ld26. Each state­ ment used is quoted directly from that booklet. Here they are: Civilization progresses by crisises. We must all have the key to so­ ciety—toning and trimming. Learn the art of participation. Do your best and then forget it. y Some people live between suns- sun up- and sun down, but more live between sun down arid sun up. Marriage—we take a chance and society pays the bill. Great men of today became greats not through their educa­ tion, but In spite of it. Be a leader in your business, a follower in the other fellow's busi­ ness. Every man ^s entitled to equal consideration, but all men are not equal. i Recognition of service — greatest thing in the world. Use of leisure time determines the civilization. God is the greatest experimenter- he tries out everything—and if not what he wants, destroys it. To win much you lose a great deal. Your destiny will be the result of your actions. Have an atmosphere! Little Streams are for little fish. The world is not fixed—it is still in the making. Spend your life for the race— do something worth while. Gossipers keep us straight. Publicity is the biggest word in life. life to you is yourself fully real­ ized. Do not take a back seat—be in front, the best. There is no honest man. Feel that you own a part of the world and are God's cooperator. You are here to help further the ^plans of the universe. Are you willing to live on this earth and leave no landmarks? Science gives facts — philosophy values. What we need is experience—why not start getting it? Happiness of life lies below the collar. Society—an incubator for human immortality. Knowledge is a tool—don't carry tools you can't use. . We pay for our own ignorance. Rationalize — don't worry- about what is wrong with you. - • Capitalize your faults by admit­ ting them. Ninety percent of what you think is so is not. Prayer gives us courage—it is a habit which, puts us in a better frame of mind. "There is always a black spot in our sunshine—the shadow of our­ selves." — Quoted from parlysle's "Sartor Resartus." VA Gives Info On Automatic Leaves News released by VA Unless veteans attending colleges and universities under the G-I Bill notify Veterans Administration with­ in 30 days before the end of a term or semester. that they do not Tfrant to take leave, VA automatically will place them on 15 days' leave. VA explained that veterans in these schools are placed on subsist­ ence rolls from the date of enroll­ ment until 15 days after the close of the term or semester. This auto­ matic 15-day leave policy makes it possible for veterans studying under the accelerated program to receive unbroken subsistence payments be­ tween terms or semesters. A veteran placed on 15 days' leave will receive subsistence allowances for that period. His period of train­ ing at government expense will be reduced by 15 days. Veterans who do not want their entitlement so reduced should no­ tify VA to that effect. VA forms to be used by veterans to signify that they do* not want to leave are available at all schools. Those veterans who had an op­ portunity to express their choice on enrollment need not submit this form unless they want to change their previous selection. Time: Before the marriage. He cnught her in his arms. 'lime: After marriage. He caught her in his pocket. The average girl is a little worse than her parents think, and a little better than lifer neighbtird think. THE CAMPUS CRIER Enjoy Life Now, These Have Gone And Left No Gain True or False? Good Intentions! A Plea at Death If my life continues ' After the day I die: I trust my friends My faults to try. But if death induces Me to live no more, I pray my enemies Will follow, Oh Lord. The Wills We esteemed students of Central Washington, College, for obvious reasons (grade week you know) with sound mind and body and under our own free mind here on April the first in the year of 1048 A. D„ in the city of Ellens- burg before the Honor Council will to leave our earthly possessions be­ hind our earthly .lives as stated In the following unofficial document: Edwin Hillbard wills his car "Black Beauty," (minus the beauty) to Johnny Green. Rose Mary "Turner wills her pi­ nochle hand to Jijn (Red) Spence, because he badly needs it. Irene Haugen wills her flock of boy friends to Beatrice Berquist. Munro Hall wills its bowling games to Montgomery. Dick Norman wills his little black book to Paul Vert. Lynn Strand glady gives his low grades to Jim Martin. Bob England wills his indulging to John Miimm, Tihy Jlory wills his beard to Gene Prater. Pat Green wills her come on eyes to Grace Cook. Nancy Hofacre wills her «iim lines to Jean Jolly. Walnut St. iDonnitories gladly gives its soup line to the railroad hoboes. C. W. C. E. Co-Eds turn Dean Nicholson over to his fiance. Pat Romines leaves his voice to who ever wants it. Benny Jarrett gives his column to any gossip monger that wants it. "Just once more Before she locks the door, Huh?" Hal Jones leaves his .lay in shots to Joe Nygaard. Kamola Hall leaves Cliftootii Steere. Mary Keith 'gladly drops science II on Mr. Quigley. Fred Jaber lends his good right arm to anybody in need of it. Harry O'Dell leaves Sherry to the I infirmary. (How about that?) Carl Ramberg leaves a good long shot to Milt Dallman. Corine Powell leaves all her sci­ ence notes to the highest bidder. Harvey Wood kisses the maple boards goodbye for the season and puts on his baseball mitt. . Fred Peterson is just returning. Norm Vanneli leaves the touch of the "Artiste", to Gerry Lynch. Kenneth Little Wills "Sid's" to John Rasmussen. Jim Locke defenitely leaves | the Navy. (Is that final Jim?) Tall dark and handsome (?) Tom Milar wishes he wasn't leaving. Keith Kem leaves an enviable record at Munro hall. Lou Keene looks longingly toward next quarter. (Bojo) Bonjorni leaves a little of that physique to Joyce Bonathan. Chuck Brown leaves a good pair of snake hips for Coach Reynold's inspection. t Ruth Bain, please leave that Doug­ las fir tree alone and pay attention to business. Tony Adeline wills his bull ses­ sion to the cows. ' Joan Anderson, don't leave! Please. Clarence Aim, Ossie says, "Leave." A1 Adams isn't sure what to leave. Tim Akers leaves his pinochle prowess to Larry McVey. Babette Daniel wishes she didn't have to leave her assortment of boy friends. (So do we Babs.) Jim Adamson leaves his wit to Red Heritage. Bill Baird leaves a varied assort­ ment of chewing tobacco, firecrack­ ers and sawed-off shotguns to Ruth Wiemer. Henry Baumgart leaves his leer­ ing, Casanova-like personality to Ralph Ruff Chuck Long will leave for Wil­ lamette University. (We'll miss ypu.) Ottie Ndlson wills "Old Man Riv­ er" to mother nature. if Bob MbCullough takes big of Munro hall's cokes with him the world will die of thirst. Nadine Powell leaves Sue Lom­ bard to the solitude of spring vaca­ tion. Benjamin Owre leaves the little organ in the basement of the Luth­ eran church, after long hours of devoted attention to it. (Ah, this thing called love, sigh.) Harry Drittenbas wouldn't leave room 2 for anything. We all hope Evonne Bennett won't leave. (What about that Bonnie?) Coaoh Reynolds hopes that dash- man Bob Cox doesn't go too far. Merle Davis stays to lead the Thunderbirds to a more successful season next year. Jerry Bessey contemplates setting up a sanctuary in the library. Don Fenton discards all his un­ necessary clothes and stage makeup for "the use of an up and coming actress named Betty Shelton. Lyle Evans pulls out for the dis­ tant city of EUensburg. Barbara Fleming and Maxine Blair leave their entire estate, consisting of one badly kept blue book and a variety of weighted spitWads to Bill (Billy the Kid) Bcden. Jim Smith leaves the Messiah (Whew.) Harry Grant blesses his well bal­ anced hours on Jack' Graham. Kenny Teller leaves his height to Jimmy Kato. Terese Martin leaves her red shoe polish on her shoes. Wahoo (Norm Benjamin) leaves Carmody Hall to Mrs. Crum. Beth Banko leaves her little red wagon to Julianne Bailey. Maxine Bassini rejects C. W. C. boys for "Vic." Bob Bluhm leaves his dancing abilities to the author. Madeline Fitzgerald leaves her new tube of lipstick to Ottie (Elton) Richardson. Ramon Ross leaves high school girls to whoever wants them. Doris Armstrong won't leave Bob to anyone-^-so I guess she can keep him. Duane Anderson leaves "Sids" for good. ' Alan Bartee doesn't want to leave Pat. Jimalee Bayes leaves her singing abilities to Virginia Colby. . I wish Don Castagna would leave a few of his piano abilities to Gene Pickett. He sure could use them. Why doesn't Sue Lombard Hall leave one of its many pianos to the artists of Muro Hall? The occupants of room 26 Mont­ gomery hall leave their business to room 26 . Munro. Gloria Grace leaves her muscles to Jerry. Florence Miller keeps her—Oops, I mean book stare job. April fools leave the campus liar for other fools to read. Great Day In Th' Mornin' For CWC True or False? Cow Talk! (By the author of "Antics in the Hay" o» "The Son Was Undew- ing»). The grass will grow greener around Munson Hall this summer as a re­ sult of the generous fertilization! at­ tempts by the powers that be. At any rate the students now have a legitimate .reason to call CWC a cow college. Already Munsonites are develop­ ing "the Washington State College shuffle." This shuffle is sometimes known as the Ag School Stomp" or "The Barnyard Samba." Only the other day . a tourist stop­ ped and asked a passing Munsonite if this was Washington State Col­ lege. (Bogs Bunny note: Did the Munsonite throw /pebbles at the tourist? I thought Stevie would like to know.) The alert student told him to keep driving southeast until he smelled a similar smell. The last report had it that the pilgrim was now punch­ ing cattle on the Bar B. Q. Ranch. Students fresh off the farm are being told that is an attempt by the college to make them feel at home at this time of the, year. Shovels will be furnished all these students if it will keep them satisfied. Console yourself, though, for no longer can CWC be called a one horse college. - Can You Imagine? True or False? Imagine! —CWCE without a Campus Crier? —Eilensburg without its traditional wind? —Jim Adamson bouncing babies in­ stead of basketballs? —Jean Jolly without a "dirty" joke? —Dean Nicholson not on the basket­ ball starting lineup? —Carl Fulkerson spending a week­ end on the campus? —Ruby Gomer as the shy bashful type? f —Ann Belch not on a man prowl? —*sob Hager without Saturday af­ ternoon teas? —The Campus Crier office on the Ad Building's first floor? —Evelyn Of field not calling some man "darling"? —Gene Pickett without a "glass of suds"? -Keith Keplinger reducing? —Corinne Powell without Nadine? -Dale Troxel knowing a new "clean" joke? —Frank Wessel as a track star? —Elaine "Jarrett" without Benny "Neeley"? —The Martin brothers getting an "A" from Stevie? —"Louie" and "Do" stepping out with anything outside of Yakima? —Mrs. Walters leaving the Sue door unlocked at night? —Kamola Hall turning in Campus Crier news? "" —Jim .Holmes on*the Honor Coun­ cil? —Glenn Baker es the backward type with girls? —Marilyn Archer and Red Stien- berger without Putty Tat? —Gerry Varner "going steady"? -Wanda Riddle not falling in and out of love once a week? —Ross Jackson without a petition in his pocket? —Ralph Sherwood under a street light instead of behind the gym? -Ddnna McCune and Bill Cable not in • the back seat of some car? —Bev Cox as the quiet, demure type? —DT. Calver without saddle shoes? —The book store as "on the ball"? —The infirmary running out of COLD TABLETS? —The Liar staff running out of im­ aginings? We can't. —Mbllie Hewson flunking a quarter at'CW? —Saturday on the campus without jeans? -Don Castagna without some music? -Dr. Wilmeth without his class­ room jokes? —Dolores Gideloff using Sue's front door for a week? —Janeice Jump without a converti­ ble? —April FOOLS not reading this column? His monthly salary runs into three figures—his "wife and two daughters. Two morons were trying to hang a picture. One was trying to drive a nail into the wall with a hammer, but was having no success because he was holding the nail head-first to the wall. "The sap who made this nail was crazy," he explained irritably. "He put the point on the wrong end." "No, the nail's right," insisted the other, "but you're wrong. That nail's meant to go in the opposite wall." Take a reading on our figure Before You Blunder Happu Hearts Club if
4 THE .CAMPUS CRIER April 1, 1948 Olympic Committee Selects Central To Replace Disqualified Teams In Games Announcement by the Olympic Games committee will give Central Washington an entry in the Olympic Games to be held in London this summer. % Disqualification of seventeen teams made the Central Washington Wildcats basketball squad the top team in the United States. ^ — In an announcement from the coaching staff, Coach Nic­ holson said, "I am astounded by the decision, but I am sure that it was a wise choice." The squad will be augmented Ty a few additions before departing for Europe. Joining the team will be Keith Keplinger, Rod Knowltbn and Frank Wessel. 9 Announcement of this change in American entry has upset all odds in betting, moving the American squad into an overwhelmingly favorite role. Give Me One Last Consolation Round Will You, Darling? True or False? Feature! When day is done and 10:15 rolls around, the casual observer may see, in the entranceway to Kamola hall, any number of couples saying good­ night. And all are determined to kiss goodnight as many times as possible before the lights are blink­ ed and the door closed fdr the last time. But what is so strange about saying good night, you ask? It's the variations of the age-old custom that one notices. Any attempt to classifly. the good- nighters according to a fixed system would be ambiguous, but certain in­ teresting patterns do appear that would touch the heart of Professor Kinsey himself. There is the girl who keeps one eye on the door and the other on her watch to make* sure she doesn't waste a minute, or the one who closes both eyes and hope the housemoth­ er's watch has stopped or some­ thing—or anything. There also is seen the timid couple who just hold hands and wait for the sound of the key in the lock. And behind the tall shrub to the left of the walk is usually a couple that thinks that shrub is better protection than it is. Then there are those who seem to be holding up the posts in front of the door, if she backs up any farther, it will probably collapse. One wonders if they don't have to reinforce those posts once in awhile. Occasionally a couple who have decided to be brave about the whole thing, march up to the door, whisper a sfiort 'good night' and part. But usually one of them breaks down and winks, which spoils the act and they join the others in the mad struggle against time. Yes, the front entrance to Kamo­ la presents a sad scene at 10:15. Most of these couples won't see each other again until 7:30 the next morning, and some not until even later—9:30 or 10:00 o'clock maybe. So— The first remark heard concern­ ing the Campus Liar after it had been released this morning came from an English professor who pub­ licly stood up on his two.feet. Instructor: You missed-my class yesterday, didn't you? Student: Not in the least, sir. Enlist Today! Tomorrow May Be Too Late Campus Armored Division Your Student Government Needs Your Protection Here's How That Girl Friend Thinks True or False?. Ask Susie! Slie is the hard working sister and does she broadcast It? Get a load of this, "Hey, kids, I yam goin to study tonite, an I want a li'l quiet. I jus gotta pass that psych test. Pact I yam gonna drag an 'A' outta Stevie if it is the las thing I do aroun here. You know how Stevie is—tuff on the girls an all 'A's' to the men of the campus. Guess I'll wear a pair of slacks to class, an mabee get by, too. "Remember now, you kids, no noise outta this room tunite cause I'll be across the hall simply burying my­ self in psych. Wonder I don't de- velope sighcosis myself the way we have to study aroun this 'ivory tower' —you know, that's a fancy name for a college, sorta highbrow stuff. Guess I'll use it in .my test to surprise Stevie. "Oh say kids, speaking of sigh­ cosis—you know the stuff they talk about in psych—well you should see the big boy who sits next to me in class—ever time I look at him I can feel a big sigh jus welling up inside of me! "I'm gonna wear my new blue sweater tomorra. Say that reminds me I gotta warsh out the anklets that match that new baby blue sweater. Hey, kids can I borrow your box of soap flakes. Never can remember to buy any. Bye now. Member, be quiet." Quiet Please Quiet reighs supreme as the "kids" in room 13 sin? exhausted on the beds. But not for long. "Say, would you get a load of this. Jus when I am the busiest— whadda you suppose I do—I warsh out my roomie's sox instead o' mine. Sure she does mine most o' the time, but then she doesn't study like I do. Bye now and mem­ ber to be quiet!" The girls sink into a lethargy again until— "Say can anyone borrow me a nickle? Dick promised to phone, but I betcha he's broke again. -Darn these pay phones! Wouldn't ya think the college cud give a lil phone service? Look at all we're paying for the privilege of goin to college, why the tuition alone was close to $16 dollars! Boy what I could do with $16 right,now! "Aw, gee, you're swell, you don't all have to give me nickles, but if you insist, I'll run along and call Munson—and don't worry—I'll get your money's worth outta my phone call!—if I can't get the party I call for, I jus visit with the guy who does answer. I can jus hear him now, 'Munson—who in the hall do you want?' Cute guys! Buy myself a. couple o' cokes? Say you are gen­ erous But I don't like the new rules about drinking the cokes by the machine—not sociable I always say. CWCEY EXPERTS HEAVY FAVORITES True or False? Untrue! Entry of Mrs. Ruth Skiffington in the Northwest ski tournament to be held in Crater Lake was announced today. * Mrs. Skiffington has entered the jumping for one legged entries. "I expect to place high in the contest since I have had so much experience in getting around on one leg lately," said Mrs. Skiffington. Other entries in the tournament from Central Washington are Prank Harcus and Gail Goodfellow. Dick Palmer was disqualiifed since he has had his cast removed. TOTE DAT BAR PROF DAY IS FALUIT FAST True or False! Fantastic! Addition of a new flophouse to the Central Washington campus will be made this afternoon. Answering a long, dismantled need, faculty members will erect with their own hands the fieldhouse. In addi­ tion to an indoor football field, a basketball pavilion, a baseball field, six bowling alleys, a boxing ring, a tumbling room and four tennis courts. The faculty expects to be able to finish construction late this afternoon so that the building may be used for P. E. classes tomorrow. Professor Stevens is in charge of the construction work. There are two kinds of dreamers those who envison great things and do them, and those who enjoy dreaming so well they are content to do no more. A door knob is what a revolving door goes around without. That's half the fun o' being in col­ lege, I say—I jus love to listen to the kids talk. Bye now—gotta make that phone call. Boy, am I busy tunite!" Wound It Up Again An hour later. "Hi, kids, jus h&d a lil talk with a guy at Monroe Hall, and do you know what he told me? Well it seems that a guy in Carmody had a cousin in Al- ford las year, and he says that Stevie u&es the ONER SYSTEM in all his exams, and he is goin tu get me a genillne pony—you know that's , a sorta summary of the course—'jur a sorta a reference in case you get stuck an forget the answers. An after all the hard work I did on my psych tunite! "Oh say, can I borrow a buck? That's what the pony cost this guy —boy, does it cost to get a education these days! Bye now, I'm goin out with the guy from Munson—if I don't make the close up, sign in for me, will ya? An member the cat yeowl means me—come down an open the door. Boy do I have to hurry. Say can I borrow a lipstick? After all this grinding, I look like a warshed out sea weed. Bye now, an memberthe cat call means lil me wantin in." (In what dorm did this take place? We feel that the Honor Council should know, and so we propose to shield no one. It1 happened in— SUE-KAM-MONT HALL!) EXCLUSIVE SPORTS FLASHES True or False? Choice Tid Bits! In the past few weeks several new athletic champions were crowned. After a tough battle Bob 'Bojo* Bonjorni was crowned marble champion of the College Elementary school. Bob was eliminated in the semi-finals by a third grader, but appealed the decision and had his opponent disqualified. Unable to field a full squad *of men for the baseball squad, Coach Arne Faust has issued an urgent appeal to any women students who have the time to turn out for the squad. Coach Faust will meet the girls at any time. FLASH: Reports from the track indicate that all existing world's records for the mile were shattered today. Glenn Baker, aided by a slight breeze ( 100 mile an hour gale according to El- lensburg weather station) ran the mile in four minutes flat. The origin of the wind was charged to Hank Heager who was letting off steam after being frozen in two minutes. Larry Dunbar, Olympic hopeful of Central Washington, was disqualified in a 100-meter swimming race recently. After winning the race in record time, Larry was informed that he could not use an outboard motor. Jim McGrath has begun training for his forthcoming heavy­ weight boxing title bqut. McGrath will mept the winner of the Joe Louis-Jersey *Joe Wolcott match this summer at the rodeo grounds in Ellensburg. Tickets may be purchased from any member of the Campus Liar. r« -.'.i ... If You Are So Curious, Doc, Quit Asking Questions and Read, Sucker True or False? Sneers to April Fools! Let me take you by your little hand and lead you into my big idea. No doubt you thought I was going to write something nasty this week didn't you? Something bitter, cynical, possibly sparkl­ ing like Benny. Well don't go way you shy devil. I have some­ thing up my T shirt. I have the^ greatest, most revolutionary idea since I thought I was a big wheel—revolutionary—get it? Catch­ es your interest doesn't it? Easier to read my stuff than not to isn't it? Ever hear of a "National Sneer Week"? Of course you haven't, I just thought of it myself. The idea is this: during Sneer Week you will consentrate on sneering at everyone you meet. Easy, huh? I cjm hear you saying, "that isn't hard, I do it all the time anyway." Of course you do, but this week will be different things will be organized. Hello walk will be re-chalked Sneer Walk. On meeting anyone on this walk you will think, "gee I hate you, you silly looking hind!" and then SNEER. There will be several standard types of sneers. One will be, "I am from Eastern Washington therefore superior", sneer. An­ other you could try on days you are feeling potentially frust­ rated would be a racial prejudice sneer like, "I'm an Anglo-Saxon and you are only a Swede." I heartily recommend this last one' as racial tention will give my idea that added flavoring. So you sneer at everyone you meet on walk Hello—oops, pardon me— Sneer. (SNow let me take you by your sweaty palm and lead yoti into the Ad building. There you will see post­ ers that I will have placed there when I thought everyone was look­ ing They will have the following legends printed upon them: "Have you one of these for a needy stu­ dent?" Underneath these words you will see pictures of machine guns, tomahawks, stilletos, and used ato­ mic bombs. You understand already huh? You know I am satirizing "care." For that you get the big king- sized sneer. There will be many more posters though. Posters like "know* your neighbor better, find that soft spot and then use this ." Then you will see a picture of a small dag­ ger. Cute huh? Pierces your heart doesn't it? Another catchy sign will be this one, "Has your neighbor had his daily ration of this?" then a pic­ ture of a quite adequate portion of cyanide. Then we could always have this old standby," she's lovely, she's engaged, she uses Pond's." Pooled you didn't I. Thought I was going to say she sneers. That's what comes of being stupid. You think there is a moral back of all this don't you. You probably think I am a great satirist harping on racial pre­ judice or thumping for world peace. You might even think I am campaigning for Henry Wal­ lace. Well that is what happens when you start thinking, so you better not start—be able to tell your grandchildren that you never had an original thought in your life. Besides, thinking can be harmful. You can lay awake nights, doing nothing but thinking. That can cause in- sommia and you know where that can lead. Come to think of it, where can it lead? If it is anything like neutral spirits or women, lead me to it. Thinking can also cause you to start drinking coffee and I don't have to tell you what that is. You thought you' would read this and then write a letter to the editor saying how much you hate me, didn't you? Do you know why you can't do that? Bend your shell like and I will tell you why you can't. It's because you are afraid, you think this is a clever satire and that you missed the point. So buddy, you're hooked, you've had it. You are forced to read everything I write because of my highly polished, meglomanic style and when you finish, you have to admit it is over your head and that you missed the point and that you can't do a damned thing about it. Sneers to you sucker!! This is for Phillip. Phillip who?/ Pill-up space. True or False? Qood Idea! WANTED—Woman for elevator boy to operate the new elevator instal­ led in the Administration build­ ing. Wages 50c per hour to start an splendid chance to go up. FOUND—Local police are puzzled over the finding of a car parked just outside of Ellensburg con-° taining a full case of Scotch whis­ ky. So far police have found no trace of the owner, but they are diligently working on the case. FOR SALE—Almost new 3x5 oak table suitable for secretary of typ­ ists with wide roomy drawers. NEEDED—Zoology professor to re­ place Mr. Quigley who has dashed back to Columbia University to in­ vestigate the veracity of the ar­ ticle that was printed in last month's Esquire about the inheri­ tance of insanity after having found traces of said disease among his zoology students. ERRORS (ACP)—The prayer meet­ ing was hell at the Methodist Church, Wednesday evening . . Young couple wants to rent furn­ ished apartment—need large lov­ ing room. WANTED—Riflemen to assist the Revelteers whose slogan is, "first we'll have the revolution, then we'll introduce a constitution providing institutions to give prosperity to all." MY COCKER PUP! Do you have a suppressed desire to do something that is degrad­ ing to good citizenship - - such as throwing your room mate out the window, or borrowing the Infirmary's pills, or going to class in the Springtime, or throwing pebbles at the tourists, or going to Thorp? Don t hesitate — - Do if today. The Faculty Student Welfare YOUR CASE NOW Keep us in business.